Calm Like A Bomb

Yeah. Sure you have. You've had days where you felt like in your sleepy eyed start to the day, you reached deep into the pile and grabbed your "fuck with me" t shirt. Then, throughout the day, folks did just that. Seemingly every tentacle of your being exposed, your fellow humans do whatever they can to seek them out and step on them. Cut off your blood flow. Your ability to breathe. Simply through a touch. Physical, emotional, mental. Doesn't matter. They're everywhere. Times like this, the times when the anger is so close. So easy to access. The lid torn assunder by the slightest inference, touch, word. It's GO time. It's ON. It's time to destroy. To tear down mentally any and all who cross paths. Then, finding it impossible to do so, thanks to the irritation boiling to a point of forcing your teeth to clench so tightly together that your jaws are near breaking. Your fingernails tearing into your palms as your fists compress tighter and tighter. Nothing nearby worth hitting. Worth destroying physically. Nothing but yourself. It's not worth it. Albeit soothing, the pain is merely temporary. Punching bags - both real and metaphorically speaking - can't speak and/or hit back, therefore making them useless. No, all that's left is to channel the anger, get in touch with it, remember it's there. That at the end of the day, it is part of you. It runs things. That no matter how much love you have for your family and friends - it's there. Watching, monitoring, and yes, controlling, by virtue of being in whatever sick, twisted way - at the root of all you do. It motivates as it permeates. It moves through you and keeps you moving. Vertical. Horizontal. Sleep? It's there. It doesn't go away. It fuels your passion. Your non conformity. Your ability to stand up for yourself amongst those who are weaker. Those who push and push and push - daring you to push back. It gives you the strength to lash out just enough - and maybe allows you a smile later. It tells you to count to ten. To drink more water. You do so. All the while, realizing that those are only temporary fixes. That it will never go away. It may hide. It may go away for months, years...but it's always there. And at the end of the day, you realize that it is...righteous. Correct. Able to be channeled if not controlled. Able to be put to good use. To cleanse. To purify. To bring serenity. To make you...Calm.