Alphabet Soup
So I hear that our country is running out of names for tropical storms and hurricanes...oh the humanity! What do we do? What a travesty! Someone call FOX NEWS!!!! Tell ya what I'm gonna do, since I know our "president" is a) busy studying Hooked On Phonics, b) choking down pretzels, c) playing baseball with his stupid dog, d) plotting the further distruction of foreign relations and/or any potential peaceful co-existence with those who share the world around us, or e) finishing up a Cheney induced "time out" in the corner and sucking his thumb... I'll take care of figuring out future storm names for us. I'll just use the current administration, and the people, places, things and descriptions that make it "work"(?)...and we'll be good til at least the next election day. Sound good?
Here we go. (by the way, be sure to include the name "Tropical Storm" and/or "Hurricane" on your own. And for crissakes, will someone crank up the Terror Alert to Polka Dot? THANK YOU.)
Autocracy ("I thought we were an autonomous collective?" "You're foolin' yourself...)
Bush (see...Idiot, Retarded, Malicious, Evil, Daddy's Boy, Lost...)
Crackhead (Well, there's one in the White House, why shouldn't there be one on every corner?)
Death Penalty (Would a Christian "God" really want us to Kill anyone...especially in an act of revenge? Hmmm...)
Election Fraud (Hey Florida...thanks a lot. Dicks.)
Fluke (see election fraud and/or Bush's G.E.D. certificate and/or Yale Diploma...)
Genocide (note to self: Someone named Bush is in office...better order more body bags AND don't move to any country where skin color is any darker than pink...)
Homeless (numbers have increased since 2000...coincidence?)
Inflation (see homeless)
Jobless (see inflation)
Kill (...or be unpatriotic, you...commie!)
Lemming (Soon to be replacing the Bald Eagle as our National Masthead...)
Morphine (I could use some to numb the pain of being an American Citizen in the Bush Era...)
New Orleans (who knew? well, apparently just the FEDS...)
O'Reilly (Mr. O'Reilly regrets to inform us all, that he's busy waxing Sean Hannity's back right now, but will be back soon with more idiotic, syncophancy soon)
Patriot Act (Whatever you do...just OBEY YOUR GOVERNMENT...)
Qusay (Poor bastard...wonder if he and his brother are playing soccer with all the athletes and innocent Iraqi citizens that they killed, maimed and tortured over the years... )
Recession (Just like Grandma used to make!)
Saudi Family (Keeping the guest room warm and fresh for the Bush Family for years and years and years...)
Tax Breaks For The Rich (3 cheers for the upper 1%! Huzzah!)
Uday (see Qusay)
Veteran Benefit Cuts (Welcome back! Thanks for doing YOUR JOB as an AMERICAN CITIZEN. Now, we're gonna need your wallet. And your clothes. AND your food, soldier. Fall out. Move it!)
Welfare (Problem? What problem?)
X-tacy (Wonder if G Dub ever tried it? Wait a second... THAT'S why he always has that lost look in his eye...)
YoYo (as in the one in the White House)
and...
Zero Tolerance (you know, for any non-white, non-christian, non-male, non-straight individuals...)
Here we go. (by the way, be sure to include the name "Tropical Storm" and/or "Hurricane" on your own. And for crissakes, will someone crank up the Terror Alert to Polka Dot? THANK YOU.)
Autocracy ("I thought we were an autonomous collective?" "You're foolin' yourself...)
Bush (see...Idiot, Retarded, Malicious, Evil, Daddy's Boy, Lost...)
Crackhead (Well, there's one in the White House, why shouldn't there be one on every corner?)
Death Penalty (Would a Christian "God" really want us to Kill anyone...especially in an act of revenge? Hmmm...)
Election Fraud (Hey Florida...thanks a lot. Dicks.)
Fluke (see election fraud and/or Bush's G.E.D. certificate and/or Yale Diploma...)
Genocide (note to self: Someone named Bush is in office...better order more body bags AND don't move to any country where skin color is any darker than pink...)
Homeless (numbers have increased since 2000...coincidence?)
Inflation (see homeless)
Jobless (see inflation)
Kill (...or be unpatriotic, you...commie!)
Lemming (Soon to be replacing the Bald Eagle as our National Masthead...)
Morphine (I could use some to numb the pain of being an American Citizen in the Bush Era...)
New Orleans (who knew? well, apparently just the FEDS...)
O'Reilly (Mr. O'Reilly regrets to inform us all, that he's busy waxing Sean Hannity's back right now, but will be back soon with more idiotic, syncophancy soon)
Patriot Act (Whatever you do...just OBEY YOUR GOVERNMENT...)
Qusay (Poor bastard...wonder if he and his brother are playing soccer with all the athletes and innocent Iraqi citizens that they killed, maimed and tortured over the years... )
Recession (Just like Grandma used to make!)
Saudi Family (Keeping the guest room warm and fresh for the Bush Family for years and years and years...)
Tax Breaks For The Rich (3 cheers for the upper 1%! Huzzah!)
Uday (see Qusay)
Veteran Benefit Cuts (Welcome back! Thanks for doing YOUR JOB as an AMERICAN CITIZEN. Now, we're gonna need your wallet. And your clothes. AND your food, soldier. Fall out. Move it!)
Welfare (Problem? What problem?)
X-tacy (Wonder if G Dub ever tried it? Wait a second... THAT'S why he always has that lost look in his eye...)
YoYo (as in the one in the White House)
and...
Zero Tolerance (you know, for any non-white, non-christian, non-male, non-straight individuals...)
posted by swg11871 at 1:25 PM
1 Comments:
I can see the CNN email alert already:
TROPICAL STORM SAUDI FAMILY UPGRADED TO CATEGORY ONE HURRICANE, LANDFALL EXPECTED SUNDAY IN OUTER BANKS.
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