What Have I Got?

What is there really for me to complain about?

I mean, really.

"What have I got?"

"I've got everything."
Membership by birth in a country full of lemmings, robots and cattle. Despite the fact that I stand out like a sore thumb amongst most - especially at my son's school with the soccer moms and dads and the rich folk with more money than they know what to do with aka the upper 10%.

"I've got a wantless need."
A lifetime commitment to perfection. A life of "boxes", a life of no clutter. A life that I've yet to discover - but will search for forever - alone, as it's simply not possible amongst those in my circle, to acheive the levels of OCD that I hold dear to my heart.

"I've got a thoughtless mind."
A one way ticket to a mental breakdown every time the phone rings and I think it's bad news. An inability to accept that the positives far outweigh the negatives. Never stopping long enough to think that something happy may be waiting on the other line.

"I've got a needless want. I can't unwind."
A built in enemy and lover inside of me that I can't escape. The ultimate yin/yang of internal psychological warfare. No matter how much I do, I feel it's never enough. Never enough quantity. Never enough quality. There's always more to acheive. I suppose that's not all that bad - except for the toll it takes mentally and physically. Daily. By the hour. By the minute. As I constantly feel like time is sprinting away from me. And that when I chase it up the highest hill possible, exhausting all of my energies...there's only one way to go...DOWN. And what's waiting? A junk pile consisting of stress, workload and more sleep deprivation.

"I've got a heart that hates."
A heart that hates actions, beliefs of the uneducated masses, those fueled by their refusal to understand - or attempt to do so - why someone might just want to walk in a different direction. It's their behavior, not them that I hate.

"I've got hands that like to break."
Physical restraint. Restraint against punching the countless idiots I encounter daily into oblivion. Walls, punching bags, my fists...feeling the burn instead.

"They tell me, hold on. They never let me go."

"What have I got? I've got everything. What have I got? Nothing much at all."

This is no way to live. I know that. I can't expect the same commitment to inner change and introspection from everyone else I meet, see and/or know. My family keeps me grounded to a point. I give them what they need as best I can. Nothing replaces hugs and words from my immediate family. My wife, children, parents, grandparents...it's good for my sanity that they are around to give me a reference point.

Yet...

"I am a clenched fist, looking for a wall to kiss. I am a locked door looking for a foot to kick me to the floor.

Self rejected, well protected, too locked up inside myself to ever get free..."

Welcome to Me.

WHO are You?

It's Sunday morning, and I'm worshipping at my own personal church/altar: my chair, my desk, my CD collection shining on me from above. If you know me, you know that music is quite literally a blood of life that I cannot live without. Music is oft times said "to be enjoyed." That's half right. Music is a gift to our ears, minds, souls. It's certainly for our enjoyment, but it's also meant to educate in many circumstances. And, for those circumstances where it's purely fun - that can educate one a bit as well, as to the mindset of those creating.

For me, my favorite bands are the ones who write lyrics that have meaning - or are meant to be interpreted thusly. Examined, explored, re-thought. Most bands that I feel are capable of writing the best lyrics are from countries who live in a society ruled over by royalty...or at least have it on their coins (hello... England, Australia?). Then again, we could just as easily here in the U.S. replace our figure heads on our coins with those of the Saudi Royal Family and not think twice...but I digress.

Have you ever listened to The Who? Have you REALLY ever listened to them? They rank somewhere in my top bands of all time list. The Doors, The Clash, The Ramones, The Rolling Stones, Pearl Jam, Rage Against The Machine, REM, The Smiths, Public Enemy, The Beastie Boys, The Who. It really doesn't get much better than those folks.

Let's stick with Messrs Daltrey, Townsend, Entwhistle, and Moon. Admittedly, I'm no scholar. I also do not deign to be an authority on The Who or their lyrics. But I AM an authority on what lyrics mean to me. With that in mind, I find myself once again amazed as I listen to the wall of sound created by these talented individuals as well as the (mostly) subtle lyrical attacks therein. Rolling simply with selected songs found on "My Generation - The Very Best Of The Who" (since the songs are so neatly organized...if not lacking a few more choice album cuts...that's the problem with best of's however...)

Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere - plain and simply, a song written by Roger Daltrey about doing your own thing - and trusting your instincts and not giving a flying fig about what anyone else thinks. Logic. Imagine that.

My Generation - seriously, do you really need ME to explain this to you?

I'm A Boy- now this one takes a little examination. The premise behind the concept of this song is typical Townsend exploration of fiction (science, and otherwise). And really is amazing. But, what I get out of it is a slam against the typical situation of parents expecting far too much of their kids in an effort to live or succeed vicariously through them, instead of letting the kids live as they are, for what they want to achieve.

I Can See For Miles - "I know you've deceived me, now here's a surprise... I know that you have, 'cause there's magic in my eyes (truth?)" The lyrics continue on in a similar fashion, I love the tinge of anger in the line "now here's a joke on you, you're gonna choke on it, too..." This whole song just reminds me of how much more in tune I am with our government and the evil that permeates it. The pomposity, arrogance that fuels those in the higher positions who think they're getting over on the masses neglect to remember that certain individuals are smarter than them. One of them is me. Nice to meet you...now EAT IT. I see through you.

Pinball Wizard - A song about a savant of sorts. I'm kind of like that in my mind. Viewed as different, alarmist, extremist with my thoughts - but a socio/political champion - of my own causes and those of peace, harmony and destruction of Murder, Inc aka US Government.

The Seeker - the saddest truth within this song is that the person is constantly searching for answers...and that only the day he dies will he fully have all the answers.

Won't Get Fooled Again - Wow. Can it be spelled out any easier? To me, however, this song makes me hope that since we've been fooled twice already by semi-illiterate (or fully functionally illiterate if we're talking about Junior) rhetoric from the Bush Clan. Seems to me we should all be shaking our heads. Not me, because I never voted for King George I or King George II, nor will I vote for Jeb. And let's really hope that folks have wisened up to the family - that they are a family of murderers, liars, cheats. Sorry, but we'll have no one to blame but ourselves if we let Redneck Amerika vote in another person from this family who will trumpet the ideals of Genocide as a plausible solution to worldwide relations.

Let's See Action - not a real overly played or overly exposed Who song, but the lyrics sum it up pretty well:
Let's see action, let's see people,
Let's see freedom up in the air,
Let's see action, let's see people,
Let's be free, let's see who cares.

Let's see action, let's see people,
Let's see freedom up in the air,
Let's see action, let's see people,
Let's be free, let's see who cares.

Yep. Pretty much.

Who Are You - Do any of us really know who were are? Do most of us at least take the time to come up with a few logical ideas? In this case, that's not what the song is about - but my interpretation for purposes here is to remind all of us...to keep on trying to figure it out. Most likely, who you are - is what you know.

Get off your ass and learn - and just "Join Together" with the band, the band of intelligencia.

WHO are you?