I Hate Blogs And I Hate Ewes Too

Speaking Of Our New Chocolate Lab...

2006-01-16T09:35:00.000-05:00

...my wife and I checked out the latest episode of "The L Word" last night...couldn't sleep after...and thanks to biological interference (ahem) couldn't do anything else... so we started flipping through the myriad channels of fluff they call television programs... and came upon Eukanuba's Kennel Club Awards or some shit... aside from being a legitimate place to hear the word "BITCH" 700 hundred times (although I don't know what the announcer meant when he said "bitch ass"...as I'm pretty sure he wasn't referring to the hind quarters on any of said canines...but I digress....)

I don't get these people who name their dogs things like "Captain Jones' Heroin Addiction In Prague" aka "Shorty"; or "Green Christmas Bells On Tuesday Weld" aka "Scraps"; or "Plastic Gizmos Found In The Clearance Bin At Marshall Fields'" aka "Schwanz".... I mean, come on, stick with one name, people. Sheesh. No wonder animals are so neurotic.

Meanwhile... back to work.

Signed,
Citrus Cologne In Greater Than 12oz Bottles Makes Me Sick In The Sunshine

Fun With Idiots...

2005-12-14T17:43:00.000-05:00

MY replies below are in normal font. My "muse"'s stuff is in italics. Some background here. This Right Wing guy who knows me decided to push my buttons about the Right (and of course his bible) being…right. Bad choice, my “friend”.

i talk to actual servicemen when they have returned home.

Have any of them referred in any way to how it is they're "PROTECTING OUR FREEDOM"?

they say how can they NOT be telling of the hundreds of schools opened, the new hospitals, roads, utilities, fresh water, and markets now opened. how can they only tell about a roadside bombing or RPG attack? why don't tell you about the victories we are winning, just as Senator Joseph Libermen reported. or I could site all the "we're losing the war' stories in the NY & LA Times, just to mention the 2 big guys.

Just because it is written in NY/LA newspapers DOES NOT mean it's right...OR...wrong. "Winning" this particular "war" (although WAR usually requires 2 armies...) is going to be a very, very subjective thing for a long time to come. Vietnam, anyone?

maybe you didn't hear but they having free elections in Iraq today.

YES. I'M AWARE.

Maybe you haven't heard about the 10,000 trained new Iraqi soldiers and police force. I believe the Prez said right form the beginning we were going to win the hearts of the people first so they could and would defend themselves.

We're doing a bangup job, eh?

while this is taking some time, i think the 'cut and run' we used in the Gulf War may have something to do with the 'wait and see' attitude of the people.

TRUE. King George 1 really fucked things up. And boy are the rest of us who wish for peace paying for it. I could hardly blame anyone there for being apprehensive/angry with us. Especially when it was obvious by the long far away look in G Dub's eyes from day one that he was gonna wipe the floor with that dude that his daddy "mercifully" (yeah...right)decided to leave there. Finishing Daddy's work, like a good boy.

But than again just because those that DID rise up against the regime were killed, their families tortured and killed, that wouldn't have anything to do with time table we are seeing now. Maybe your reference to Babylon is to say they have always been a violent, ruthless, barbarian, totalitarian people but I am not sure?

My reference to Babylon is probably better saved for a discussion about how good the/your "good book" really is.

I guess until we would have been attacked directly by an Iraqi State backed terrorist you would say they did nothing wrong and were no threat.

Actually, yes. You're doing a good job of listening to the justification rhetoric from the White House. Considering the technology we've HAD in place (oh, and the information that Rummy, Condi and crew decided to pretend didn't exist), I find it HARD to believe that we wouldn't "see 'em coming". We've got enough defense systems to last a million years and enough munitions to blow up the world by ourselves several times over. I'm not worried about "safety" from other countries. Safety from this country's officials currently in office...absolutely.

Just because Bin's boys were protected and cared for in Saddums personal hospital by his son's during the Afghan campaign, you would say that isn't a direct connection seems like if had used that same mentality in WW2 we would NEVER had preemptively attacked Germany, but we did and the World IS better for it. wonder if in as little as 10 years people will say the World is better for Saddum being removed? at what point would say another state is a threat to us? once they have attacked and not until then?

Well...yeah. Especially when WE are the greatest force in the world - and everyone is too scared of us to wage full on war. Saddam is no Hitler. Neither is a good person. I'll agree to that. But Hitler was far worse. Saddam would eventually have just died off. Instead of changing focus from Bin Laden (how does a man attached to an IV on wheels with his dialysis machine escape us? Can't you just picture him running up and down the hills? :)), we should have found him first. Somehow we got distracted (adult ADD affects millions of Americans...) If we could find Saddam, we could find Bin Laden. No matter how you spell it.

I'll not engage in name calling and other forms of demeanor. but it is funny how when people have differing views, especially conservatives, we are labeled closed minded and blindly following others or intolerant.

This is what I mean... you make it seem as though Right Wingers are the ones being ostracized. You refer to anyone who doesn't agree with what you think as "liberal" like it's a bad thing, when the very root of the word can be associated with LIBERATION. Still, ANYONE who is NOT on the Right Wing Side is ostracized...you just have to acknowledge that it's happening. But, if you're a true Right Winger, you won't. You'll spin and spin until you CREATE an ALL SPIN ZONE.

wonder if that applies to liberals also.

Of course it does.

or is that different? funny how it is only conservatives that are called intolerant

ARE YOU HIGH?,

yet when the left disagrees they are simply right; never are they intolerant.

HOLD ON...I'M GETTING DIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZY (must be from all the "spinning"...is this really Karl Rove I'm talking with? Dammit. I KNEW it!)

Christains (interesting/unfortunate? grammatical error)

seem to be the only ones intolerant.

So that you know where I stand and DON'T pigeonhole me into one "category" or "group", I at least have the sack to acknowledge that there are some wacky "liberals" out there. For all the good he's done, and he's a man of god and all that happy horseshit, I think The Rev. Jesse Jackson is an eyesore to the "left". How's that? Let's hear YOU acknowledge that anyone on "your" side is that way. I won't hold my breath

the problem with communism is we as a world have NEVER seen put to practice. what ALWAYS have seen is socialism and dictatorships,

(AND OUR OWN CAPITALIST SYSTEM, right?)

i.e., Hitler, Castro, all the Japanese Emperor's, all the Russian/USSR Czars, etc. I do take offense that somehow you have determined I am incapable of caring for myself. I have NEVER received a single dime for the government

ME NEITHER. And, I DID NOT infer that. If our government cares so much, then we MUST take care of our own people is all I said. NOT BUY MORE WEAPONS. NOT deny people help. Help a person when they’re down, give out some healthcare to those who need it but can't afford it. It works in Canada - despite King George II saying "show me when government run health care works...then the chuckle that he does so well... see: 2004 Presidential Debate #2...)

I have worked for everything I have, I haven't even collected but 1 week of unemployment in my life time. I don't need the government to provide anything more than roads, military, and a constitutional form of the courts. (yes, I am saying what we have today is not within the boundaries of the constitution, no where does it give the courts the right to govern from the bench, 9th circuit court of appeals.)

Congratulations. You're a saint, apparently. The system was originally intended to help our society grow - and to continue to do so. I think we've gotten off track at least a smidge here and there. Thankfully we still have the "freedom" to make our own decisions...though many/most choose not to bother.

No, the Patriot Act doesn't make me feel safer, but what terrorist outside of the middle east were you referring to?

Remember the guy with the bomb in his shoe? British. It's not just folks who believe in "Allah" that are terrorists - DESPITE what your alleged "LIBERAL" media says. Take a look around you, the next terrorist could be in your midst...and white as a ghost. Being brown skinned/Middle Eastern does not equate TERRORIST. Although that's what we're TOLD to associate the term with. I would have thought someone like you wouldn't have pigeonholed.

The ones that blow up the US embassies? The USS Cole? The first attack of the Trade Towers? The second attack? The list just goes on and on and on. While terrorism can come from another people group but I guess we'll just have to wait for that day.

What about the attacks by our own country against others - talking only about countries we haven't armed first...let's call a spade a spade. Our belief that we can do whatever/wherever/whenever...but if it's done to us... "hey man, that's not cool!" We’re a bully in the eyes of the rest of the world, and some would argue we HAVE to be. I disagree. I'm quite convinced that if the proper people were asked - even in so called "Allied" countries - they'd let you know in no uncertain terms that the good ol' USA is a bit of spry terrorist in itself.

One last thing, maybe I am repeating myself but even at that cost here goes:Is it only those on the right that are brainwashed?

Not necessarily. See, that's the thing. I'm not all the way to the left. Nor do I agree with EVERYTHING from the left. I'm doing my best to stay within the focus of human rights - especially the right to peaceful existence/survival. Regarding your biblical references...save them. I don't read it, don't want anything to do with it. yadda yadda I'll burn in hell, blah blah blah..."forgive" me.

Is it only those on the right that read LEV 18:22 " `Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable" and say it is wrong?

Fine, so your god says it's wrong... does your god also say it's your responsibility to billy club a person to death (speaking figuaritively here...) if they happen to be "gay"? Is it REALLY YOUR BUSINESS? Especially considering that YOU wouldn't want anyone questioning what YOU do physically with another...NOBODY would. And that's what it boils down to, right? Do you openly discuss your heterosexual life in the sack with anyone?

Is it only those on the right that read LEV 20:13 " `If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads." And say there's no wiggle room here, God is clear how HE feels about homosexual relations?

Does he give you the power to assault verbally or physically those people? Are you THAT much of a zealot that it disturbs you to the point of tears that a man may be in love with another man (never mind the priests...) or a woman may be in love with another woman?

1 COR 6.13b "The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." 17 But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit."

So, should I buy a bible and drill a hole in it or...

Is it only those on the right that read RO 1:26 "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion." And say don't shove your perverted views down my throat or tell my children it's OK, because I was born that way? that is a lie!

Ooooohh....it's all so deliciously wicked and decadent isn't it? Give me a fucking break. This gets worse and worse as I read it. Aside from countless hipocracies in YOUR bible... (Lot, anyone? Now THERE was a saint!), is it really so bad? Do you really think that a gay man or woman constantly thinks about the sexual part of their love for someone else? Do you? Either way, is that a very “christian” thing to do? Are YOU that devoted, that you and your bride only have sex for the purpose of procreation - after all, that's what the "good book" says, right? Whatever. Just because someone is LABELED "homosexual" does NOT mean that they are a “deviant.” Kinda like how I refuse to refer to you as a "RACIST" because you feel that only MIDDLE EASTERN PEOPLE are terrorists.

is it only those on the right that read 1CO 6:9 "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." And say it is a choice, not a lifestyle?

6:9...hahahahahaha...coincidence? Does it ever occur to anyone who is a Christian...that perhaps NOT EVERYONE believes what they do? I could care less about ANY guilt based religion. That goes for Christianity, Judaism, and yes, even Islam. I don't belive in the Dungeons & Dragons storytelling in the bible, and think it to be a waste of my time. Perhaps that means that to you I won't be "forgiven" or "saved" or whatever. Guess what? Don't care. Don't need anyone to teatotal me to convince me otherwise. If I change my mind someday, good on me. But, considering the greed, corruption, hypocrisy and ridiculousness of organized religion - TO ME ANYWAY - it's a waste of time. My opinion.

I hope you don't take offense at any of this because nothing is meant to be offensive or degrading, I simply can think for myself and do! While I am on the right I am NOT the enemy.

No, you're not "the enemy," specifically. It's complacency that is the (my) enemy. It's racism. It's sexism. It's zealotry. It's hypocrisy. It's concepts that I feel are my enemies. It's people who act so pious and righteous and then live a life that is anything but (say...oh...I don't know...folks who consider themselves to be religious and/or go to church on Sunday to be "forgiven" for a week's worth of "sinning" - swearing, adultery, whatever...whee!) It's folks that don't think for themselves that are not on my side. But, like Nietzsche said... "That which does not kill me, makes me stronger." As long as I live I'll continue to speak out against what I feel are injustices perpetuated on ANYONE - including me.

It’s funny…I take a stance and stand up for what I believe…and I’m accused of being problematic, argumentative, LIBERAL. Well, if disagreeing with what is - to even the least intelligent cattle of this country - obviously WRONG, then I guess I am. If going against the norm means asking, learning, researching and getting up and out to take action is the result of that description, then so be it. If disagreeing with Bill O’Reilly, Ann Coulter, or any of the myriad talking heads that are out there accusing anyone who disagrees with their socio/political/right wing propaganda - of being on the wrong side - then I guess I’ll take my place.

The difference between ME and YOU is that I’m proactive. You are reactive. When it comes to the basics of human technology, you’ve certainly succeeded in toeing the line. You’ve done a great job following the Leaders Of The Lemmings, straight off the cliff to your eventual right wing, hypocritical deaths. You react with a yearning to KILL those who’ve committed crimes and/or murderous acts. You favor an eye for an eye all week long, and then attend church to somehow obtain peace in your life for agreeing with the murder/death row finality of another human being. You lash out at EVERYONE who matches the description of an attacker - not just the specific attacker themselves. You use blanketed racism and sexism and disguise it as “doing what’s right to protect the interests of everyone”. You concern yourself with what other people do in the privacy of their own bedrooms when - aside from petty jealousies wrought on by your own apparent loneliness and/or inability to be intimate with anyone - their “actions” behind their own doors have nothing to do with you. AT ALL. You support the mass genocide of a society to force them into your way of thinking, and then refuse to acknowledge the police state(s) we’re creating in other countries - AND here stateside. You believe that if someone argues with your point of view - however skewed, non-sensical, hypocritical it may be - they’re wrong and deserve to be ridiculed, punished or killed. You believe that the U.S. is has the soverignity and carte blanch to destroy anyone who is not them. Hypocrisy, greed and hubris are what drives you to live each day. You’d rather be told how to live, where to shop, what to think…than make any decisions for yourself.

Sound familiar? Of course it does. It’s who you are.

Now, let me tell you about ME.

I read. I think. I learn. I speak out. I go against what is widely accepted by the docile masses - especially in cases where the way of thinking is quite obviously without merit or just plain against basic common sense. I DO NOT accept what I’m given if it’s a big pile of horseshit. I toss it back...with vengence. I can’t be bothered to change what is near and dear to me and what I believe to be true - especially if what I think and/or do IS NOT adversely affecting anyone else.

When you can jump over the smallest hurdles of humanity...maybe we can talk. Until then, don't bother.

BUT WAIT!!!! I JUST NOW got this reply...

ROFL! Do you really believe that stuff? That is the funniest thing I have heard, excluding the references to the God and His Word. Regarding that, I'll pray for you, like it or not I'll do it because God has asked me to. PERIOD. Plus, did you know God loves you as much as me, or Saddam or anyone else? It's true, He sent His Son for ALL mankind, while we were waging war with Him! WOW, now that's a great God!

So you see? I'm good to go, right? Boy, do I feel...redeemed. A hypocritical zealot will be saying a little prayer for me. How...comforting. Whatever.

"Every Time A Prison Guard Pulls The Killswitch, An Angel Gets His Wings"

2005-12-13T16:05:00.000-05:00

Does it ever occur to anyone who supports the death penalty that killing someone on death row, is, in itself, MURDER?

No, no it doesn't. Do you know why? Because those who support the death penalty aren't connected to the situation. Hell, they're most likely not connected to anything except for the line that they're told to toe.

Folks, it's simple. Killing a person who has killed someone else, does nothing to fill voids in any hearts, anywhere. THINK! For crying out loud, it's not brain surgery, you dolts!

Eye for an eye is a bullshit excuse to attain satisfaction - satisfaction that is temporary and fleeting.

And for those of you who both consider yourself a "spiritual" person (with whatever affiliation you desire) - if a family member or friend of yours is murdered...do you think that whatever "god" you worship would support your killing of another person no matter how angry you are? No, "he", "she", "it" would not. Murder is murder people. And if you believe otherwise, you are showing yourself for the hypocritical, soulless person you are.

Is murder right? NEVER. That means - pulling the trigger, weilding the knife...or..."flipping the switch" and/or "inserting the needle".

Congratulations Prison Guard #1... how's your conscience treating you? Think you'll be forgiven? Good luck with that...murderer.

David Cross Says: "Think-Of-Something-To-Do-And-See-That-Task-To-Completion!!!!!"

2005-12-02T13:07:00.000-05:00

There are few people in this world that (to me anyway) are able to intelligently grasp what is happening around us, capture it, and spit it back out as the truth - and be hilarious at the same time. David Cross is one of the chosen few who READS, refuses to tow the line and entertains relentlessly at the sake of those who are trying in vain to destroy the world around us through their hatred, dirty money and policies of mass genocide. Thank you David, for doing what you do. (and screw the bastards at Fox for cancelling Arrested Development.)

From David's website. Enjoy.

Thursday, December 01, 2005
AN OPEN LETTER TO LARRY THE CABLE GUY

Hi everybody!

The following is a letter I wrote after picking up Git-R-Done - The Larry The Cable Guy Story (ghost written by Susan Sontag). I have to warn you that it's nearly 11 pages long. But I think it's chock full of life lessons for all of us and if you're not careful... you just might learn something!

An open letter to Larry The Cable Guy:

Hello Larry,

It's me, David Cross. Recently I was shooting something for my friends at "Wonder Showzen" (the funniest, most subversive comedy on American T.V. at the moment) and when we were taking a break one of the guys on the show asked me if I had seen some article in something somewhere wherein you were interviewed to promote your new book "Please-Git-R-Done" (published by Crown Books $23.95 U.S.) and they asked about your devoting a chapter to slamming me and the "P.C. Left". Since I stopped following your career shortly after you stopped going on stage wearing a tool belt with cable wrapped around your neck (around your appearance at "Laffs 'n' Food" in Enid, Oklahoma Aug 23-26 1999?) I said I wasn't aware of the article. They went on to tell me that you said basically (and I am not quoting but paraphrasing their recall) that I could kiss your ass, that I've never been to one of your shows (true) and that I didn't know your audience (untrue).

SO, I went and got your book, "Gitting-R-Donned", and excitedly skimmed past the joke about that one time you farted and something farty happened, on past the thing about the fat girl who farted and finally found it, < Media – 5>. Well, needless to say I farted. I farted up a fartstorm right there in the Flyin' J Travel Center. I fartingly bought the book and took it home with an excitement I haven't experienced since I got Bertha Chudfarter's Grandma drunk and she took her teeth out and blew me as I was finger banging her while wearing a Jesus sock puppet in the back of the boiler room at The Church of the Redeemer off I-20 (I don't care who you are, that's funny.)

Anyhoo, I got home and read the good parts. It seems that you were pissed off at Rolling Stone magazine, and I can understand why. You made some good points in your argument as well. I agree that there is an eliteism and bias in the press and too often a writer will include asides to show the readers how smart he or she is and how "above it" they are. But come on! Surely you can't be surprised, or worse, hurt or offended by this. You even say in the book that you knew what you were getting into (Rolling Stone being all "lefty" and whatnot). Certainly I'm not surprised that they took a ten minute phone conversation with me and chose to print only the most inflammatory paragraph within it. That's what they do.

But I want to address some of the things you write about me in "Git-to-Gittin'-r-Done". In response to the Rolling Stone article, but first let me say this; you are very mistaken if you think that I don't know your audience. Hell, I could've been heckled by the parents of some of the very people that come see you now. I grew up in Roswell, Georgia (near the Funny Bone and not far from The Punch Line). The very first time I went on stage was at The Punch Line in Sandy Springs in 1982 when I was 17. I cut my teeth in the south and my first road gigs ever were in Augusta, Charleston, Baton Rouge, and Louisville. I remember them very well, specifically because of the audience. I remember thinking (occasionally, not all the time) "what a bunch of dumb redneck, easily entertained, ignorant motherfuckers. I can't believe the stupid shit they think is funny." So, yes, I do know your audience, and they suck. And they're simple. And please don't mistake this as coming from a place of bitterness because I didn't "make it" there or, I'm not as successful as you because that's not it at all. Since I was a kid I've always been a little over sensitive to the glorification and rewarding of dumb. The "salt of the earth, regular, every day folk" (or lowest common denominator) who see the world, and the people like me in it, as on some sort of secular mission to take away their flag lapels and plaster-of-paris jesus television adornments strike me as childishly paranoid. But perhaps the funniest (oddest) thing in your book is you taking me to task for being P.C. Have you heard my act?! I'll match your un-P.C.ness any day of the week my friend. I truly believe, and have said onstage amongst other things that, orthodox Jews are bar none, the most annoying people, as a group, that walk this earth. I absolutely refuse to say the term "African-American". It's a ridiculous and ill-applied label that was accepted with a thoughtless rush just to make white people feel at ease and slightly noble. I also believe that in the right setting that, as unfortunate as it may be, retarded people can be a near constant source of entertainment (fact!). Larry, whether northern, southern, straight, gay, male, female, liberal, conservative, Christian or Jew, I've walked them all. It didn't matter if it was a room full of "enlightened" hippie lesbian wicans at Catch A Rising Star in Cambridge, MA or literally hundreds of students at the University of St. Louis (a Jesuit school) or a roomful of the cutest, angriest frat boys in Baton Rouge all threatening to beat me up, I un-P.C.'d the shit out of them. That's another thing that bothers me too. I honestly believe that if we had worked a week together at whatever dumb-ass club in American Strip Mall #298347 in God's Country U.S.A and hung out that week and got good and drunk after the shows, that you and I would've been making each other laugh (I imagine we would have politely disagreed on a few things) but not only would we be laughing but we'd often be laughing at the expense of some of the audience members at that nights show and you know it. I'll address your easy, bullshit sanctimonious "don't mess with my audience" crap further on. But for now, let's "Gittle-R-Ding-Dong-Done!"

Okay, here's what I said in the RS interview: "He's good at what he does. It's a lot of anti-gay, racist humor -- which people like in America - all couched in 'I'm telling it like it is.' He's in the right place at the right time for that gee-shucks, proud-to-be-a-redneck, I'm-just-a-straight-shooter-multimillionaire-in-cutoff-flannel, selling-ring tones-act. That's where we are as a nation now. We're in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride."

You took umbrage at my calling a lot of your act anti-gay and racist and said that "...according to Cross and the politically correct police, any white comedians who mention the word 'black' or say something humorous but faintly negative about any race are racists."

Well, first of all, your act is racist. Maybe not all the time, but it certainly can be. Here, let me quote you back, word for word, some of your "faintly negative" humor and I'll let people judge for themselves.

Re: Abu Ghraib Torture -

"Let me ask some of these commie rag head carpet flying wicker basket on the head balancing scumbags something!"

Re: Having a Muslim cleric give the opening prayer at the Republican Convention -

"What the hell is this the cartoon network? The Republicans had a muslim give the opening prayer at there (sic) convention! What the hell's going on around here! Is Muslim now the official religion of the United States!... First these peckerheads ( Ironically, "peckerhead" was a derogatory word slaves and their offspring used to describe white people) fly planes into towers and now theys (sic) prayin' before conventions! People say not all of em did that and I say who gives a rats fat ass! That's a fricken slap in the face to New York city by having some muslim sum-bitch give the invocation at the republican convention! This country pretty much bans the Christian religion (the religion of George Washington and John Wayne) virtually from anything public and then they got us watchin' this muslim BS!! Ya wanna pray to allah then drag yer flea infested ass over to where they pray to allah at!" End Quote. So... yeah. There you go. This quote goes on and on but my favorite part is when you say towards the end, "...now look, I love all people (except terrorist countries that want to kill us)..."

There are numerous examples and I don't think I need to reprint any more. You get the idea. Oh, what the hell, here's one more - "They're dead, get over it! Poor little sandy asses! I'm sure all them dead folks'd they'd killed give 40 shekels or whatever kinda money these inbred sumbitches use, but I'd give 40 of 'em whatever it is to be humiliated instead of dead!"

Okay Larry The Cable Guy, I will ignore the irony of a big ole southern redneck character actually using "inbred" as an insult, as well as the fact that a shekel is currency from Israel, the towel heads sworn enemy. But at least you're passionate about what you see as inhumane injustice (not on a global level of course, but on a national level) and the simple black and white of what's right and what's wrong. It's kinda like you're this guy who speaks for all these poor, unfortunate souls out there who wear shirts with blue collars on them, work hard all day to put food on the table for their family (unlike people who wear shirts with white collars or wear scrubs or t-shirts or dresses or costumes that consist of flannel shirts with the sleeves cut-off and old trucker hats) and pray to the American Flag of Jesus to protect them from the evils of muslims, queers, illegal immigrants, and the liberal jews who run Hollywood and the media. I guess one could say that you're "telling it like it is". And considering the vast amount of over-simplification you employ to describe with sweeping generalizations, all of America and the World that "don't make no sense to you", as well as your lack of sensitivity, and second grade grammar, one might be led to think that you are somewhat proud of not appearing (or being) too intellectual. Combine that with your sucker appeal to the knee-jerk white Christian patriot in us all who would much rather hear 87 fart jokes than hear a joke in which the President (the current one, not the last one) or the Pope, or Born-Again Christians, or Lee Greenwood get called on their shit for being the hypocrites that they are, and I think we've got a winner!

About being Anti-Gay. I honestly take that back. I do not think that you are anti-gay, I didn't choose those words wisely. Your stuff isn't necessarily anti-gay but rather stupid and easy. "Madder than a queer with lock jaw on Valentines Day." That's not that funny, I don't care who you are. It's just sooo easy. I mean, over half the planet sucks dick so why gays? Why not truck stop whores, or Hollywood Starlets or housewives? Because when you say "queer" you get an easy laugh. End of story.

As for being a multi-millionaire in disguise, that's just merely a matter of personal taste for me. I do not begrudge you your money at all, it is sincerely hard earned and you deserve whatever people want to give to you. What sticks in my craw about that stuff is the blatant and (again, personal taste) gross marketing and selling of this bullshit character to your beloved fans. Now look, if someone wants to pay top dollar to come to one of your shows and then drop a couple hundred more on "Git-R-Done" lighters and hats and t-shirts and windshield stickers and trailer hitches and beer koozies and fishing hats and shot glasses etc, then good for you. I just think it's a little crass and belies the "good ole boy" blue collar thing you represent. But that's no big deal.

Now, as for the last statement that "We're in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride."

Well, I think that's true. When you can rally the troops (so to speak) with a lazy, "latte drinking, tofu eating" generalization of Liberals and "Back ass rag fags" to describe Arabs, then, yeah, I think that falls in the "ignorant" category. I think that with even the slightest attention to the double standard and hypocrisy of both the Left and the Right in this country (if not all of the Christian Extremists as a whole) coupled with the bullshit they lazily swallow and parrot back while happily ignoring the gross inhumane treatment of those that aren't them so that we may have cheap sneakers and oil and slightly less taxes (although I'm sure the bracket you're in now gives you a ton of tax money back), then you could maybe see my point. Now here's the best part - in your book you preface the above quote by saying, "...but I guess I'm not as intellectual as David Cross. In that Rolling Stone article, he sure showed us what a deep thinker he is by sayin' "America is in a stage of vague intellectual pride." Jesus Christ can you even fucking read?! Whoever read that article to you butchered the actual quote. The quote that was right fucking in front of their face! I would fire your official reader and have them replaced with a Hooters Girl who doesn't fart. That way you have something nice to look at while you are getting your misinformation.

As for "anti-intellectual pride", that is Larry The Cable Guy in spades. Let me quote you again (from an on-line interview, "I consider my jokes to be very jeuvinille (sic). Stuff a 14 year old would laugh at because that's the ...sence (sic) of humor I have.". Hmmm, okay. That was easy.

Well, I suppose I've already covered part of that in the above. But you also specifically dumb down your speech while making hundreds of purposefully grammatical errors. How do I know this? It's on page 17 of your book wherein you describe how you would "Larry" up your commentaries for radio. What does it mean to "Larry" something up? Take a wild guess. The reason you feel the need to "Larry" something up? Because you are not that dumb. I mean you, Dan Whitney, the guy who's name the bank account is under. You were born and raised in Nebraska (hardly The South), went to private school and moved to Florida when you were 16. This is when you developed your accent?! Not exactly the developmental years are they? At age 16 that's the kind of thing you have to make a concerted effort to adopt. Did you hire a voice coach? Or were you like one of those people who go to England for a week and come back sounding like an extra from "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"? As you said yourself in an interview once, "I can pop in and out of it pretty much whenever I want". In your book on page 89 you say in reference to the "gee-shucks" millionaire comment, "...see, to his (David's) mind, bein' well paid means I'm no longer real and I can't be a country boy anymore. It's just an act." Hey, it's always been an act! That's my fucking point! You admit it yourself so cut the indignation shit. And I am in no way deriding your work ethic. You clearly have more fart jokes than most and for that I applaud you. You go on to talk about how hard you work and life on the road and living on Waffle House and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I get it, we’ve all been there and played shitty, degrading gigs and sacrificed etc, etc. Then you say, "...this (the personal attack) was different because David basically hammered my fans in that RS article by implying that they were ignorant. He crossed the line when he railed against them, so I had to tell ya what I felt about that. He can hammer me all he wants, but when he screwed with my fans, it was time for me to say something." Aww, that's so sweet and egregious. I can't stand that fan ass kissing bullshit. You and Dane Cook ought to get together and have a "my-fan's-are-the-greatest-people-on-earth-and-that's-why-I-do-this" off. You could both sell a shit load of merch too. But having said that, I would truly love to get some of your fans and my fans in a room together to debate some of the finer points on comedy, music, culture, the issues facing our country today and just about anything else we might find worthy of discussion. My fans are pretty smart as well. They are also, I imagine, as "hard-working" as your fans. Not all of them of course, but most. And I'm sure that they may come up with some genuinely interesting, insightful points (and would do so without spouting a bunch of meaningless Christian platitudes). And if you really, truly want to respect your fans, lower your ticket price as well as the price of your ubiquitous merchandise. I'm sure all those hard-working Americans could use the extra money now that the budgets are being cut drastically from Transportation, Education, Health and Human Services, HUD, Dept of the Interior, EPA, Farm Service Agency, FEMA, Agricultural, FDA, VA, FDA, FHA, National Center for Environmental Health, and numerous other departments and agencies that they might directly rely on for help. All so that we can pay off this massive tax cut during "war" time that we're all getting (them not so much though). Oh well, that's just one of those "political" things that I think about occasionally.

Anyway, I just wanted to address the stuff you wrote about me and clear some things up. Mostly the air around here... I just farted!!!!!

Think-Of-Something-To-Do-And-See-That-Task-To-Completion!!!!!

Fart,
David Cross

Life Really CAN BE Simple...

2005-11-27T21:18:00.000-05:00

It truly can.

I've been asked recently, not once, but AT LEAST twice..."why don't you just write a book?" It's really a good question. Aside from how truly egomaniacal it would make me feel to even THINK that someone...no...ANYONE...would take the time to read a book written by me, there's the simple question of "who'd listen/read/interpret/relate/live it anyway?"

I live my life, take my stances, research and write passionately. Complete. I feel tremendous guilt if I don't give more than I'm capable of at all times. Meticulous, organized, anal, whatever...it's who I am. And, quite frankly, allows me to at least be content with myself.

The problem is, I KNOW how high my expectations are for myself, and often, I expect others in my close circle to acheive them as well. I shouldn't, but I do. I admit it. It's probably difficult to come even close to 50% in terms of keeping up with what I expect in terms of organization, cleanliness, peacefulness. Trouble is, I'd settle for 10% at this point, because common sense and a desire for order are in such seemingly short supply.

My first rule of business...no...LIFE...is that "It's IMPOSSIBLE to be successful in ANYTHING, without a COMPLETE COMMITMENT to ORGANIZATION." Seems easy right? Not really. Take a look around. Right. Now get to work.

See, you can't keep up. It doesn't matter to you. Cleanliness is NOT next to godliness as the saying goes...cleanliness (figuratively, literally, physically) is next to perfection. Organization leads to success - both in life's journies, business ventures, and, I daresay, to ultimate peace of mind. Think about it. How great of a feeling is it - however fleeting it is for you in your world - to just breathe in for 10 seconds a truly organized, clean environment? It's amazing. Everything in place.

Apply this to ANYTHING you do...and be amazed at the results.

Wanna know how to take nearly $50LARGE in debt, to NOTHING in 12 months? I've done it.

Wanna know how to take a business from nothing and build it into a viable, growing entity? I've done it. And continue to do so daily.

Wanna know how to commandeer over 1100 CD's and 300+ DVD's and keep them library-like in physical nature as well as alphabetical and chronological, making them very easy to find? Check.

I'm no better than anyone else in this world. I've got my pluses, and they are FAR FAR FAR outweighed by my minuses... but I do know that regardless of whether my voice or sales talents are mediocre at best, my ability to organize my life - and my DESIRE to do so out of devotion to my own success and happiness not because someone tells me to - but because I WANT to - is better than most anyone's. Not bragging, mind you, just shooting straight.

Anyway, in the interest of "writing a book", I've decided instead to offer up a few examples of how to be the best to yourself. "Use my system" (crassness fully implied, by the by) and I'll guarantee that you'll make your life so much better.

1) Decide to do something...and DO IT. Do it THEN. Do it NOW. Do it IMMEDIATELY. When you say out loud "I'm gonna..." the only person you'll let down is yourself if you put it off. That is, unless you're promising to do something...even the SMALLEST thing for someone else. In that case, however small the premise, action or "thing" is...you've let yourself down AND someone else.

If you're cool with that...don't bother reading any farther. And don't ever come here to read anything again.

2) Don't take shortcuts. Live, work, play to the fullest. Don't search for the easy way out of anything. Don't clip coupons. Don't "look for the best deal." Don't try to "stick it to the man." It's too late for that. A few pennies saved are gonna add up to $13.76 later on life...don't spend it all in one place, Rockafeller. Conversely, if we're talking about shortcuts taken during work...I think even a monkey knows the ramifications of half assed effort(s). Whether it's cleaning your surroundings, raising your children, working at WORK...whatever. You know the drill. Hard work is what pays off. And, there's a definitive line betwixt this concept of "working smarter, not harder" and real life/good old fashioned EFFORT. I prefer the latter. In everything. You? Good. Keep reading.

3) Take 30 minutes out of your day...and clean and/or organize your surroundings. Write out your plan of attack for the day FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. That's an example of organizing. Put your clean clothes away, or, sort your dirty ones. Dust off the TV. Make your bed. Clean your room. Pick up after your kids. Pay the bills you've got stacked up. Empty/change out the trash. Take a break from taking a break, and clean your living room while you watch TV - OFF of the couch. You'll be amazed at how much work you can get done in just 30 minutes a day. Even several of the above examples - if not all - can be accomplished in 30 minutes - even broken up into smaller sessions if needed.

4) Read. Learn. CARE. Load up Yahoo.com, read your local newspaper, watch a documentary...whatever. Cliche? Yes, but KNOWLEDGE (even that gained from most of the crappy papers readily available) truly is power. Go further. Check out a book or article on a current event that might trouble you even in the slightest. (Don't get me started on politics, please...). Further, check out several articles - including those with differing takes and opinions. Get both sides of each argument (you should do this anyway with EVERYTHING...)Take the time to learn about the world around you, and watch the lemmings in your rearview mirror fall to their deaths off of figurative cliffs everywhere, speeding up their respective demises, by simply eating what's fed to them, believing what they're told by the talking heads/government officials, shopping where they're told to shop. They'll perish long before you...if you just START to give a shit about expanding your grey matter to include some newfound knowledge on a daily basis.

I understand that the above examples may be difficult for many to realize despite their sheer simplicity...but I'M capable. And I'm very far away from being perfect. Never will be. But that won't stop me from trying to get there. I stop and enjoy the roses when I can. But, let's be honest. Roses die. Knowledge, and your legacy - both to yourself and to others - lives forever. Are you down with yours as it is? If so, congrats...talk to you...never. Bye. If not, cool. Keep trying, then. Or, in most cases...START trying.

Life can be simple...but only if you start by committing to yourself and to a life of zero complacency.

Yin Meets Yang...or...Random Musical Tribute To Messrs Rollins and Morrissey

2005-11-20T16:11:00.000-05:00

Just started reading a book called "Saint Morrissey." It's an ode to the author's feelings of helplessness when it comes to being at the mercy of SPM. It's great to have someone capture so completely the feeling of what it's like to be a fan of Moz. He's got something rare. Extremely so, that only a handful of performers have the ability to utilize - complete control over the audience.

Interestingly, the same could be said for my main musical hero - 1 to Morrissey's "1a" and 1 to Johnny Cash's "1c" - Henry Rollins. I've read all of Henry's books. Listened to all of his CD's. Allowed him to help me survive through my loyalty to his music. He is the true renaissance man. Morrissey is right there as well - despite maintaining a decidedly more aloof presence.

Rollins and Morrissey could be brothers. They resemble each other with their physical features. They elicit similar abandon from their minions. They both write with an aggression, a passion, an anger - that is unparalelled - especially when compared to the "music" offings of modern day "artists". They both reside in L.A. - the only sensical place, I suppose for either to dwell. Or hide. Or observe. And, like many "siblings," they also complement each other with a yin/yang in its truest form. Then again, maybe they're not so different. Maybe they're friends. Maybe they run in the same circles - whether purposely or simply by proxy. Maybe they've never met. If one wasn't aware that neither could be bothered to actually attend one, one could almost argue that they trained together in some ethereal "school of rock" somewhere.

Both are equally capable - in spite of their very different vocal stylings - of delivering the messages of their art with surgical precision. A precision that is capable of equal parts damage and repair - often at the same time. Bring you down. Lift you up. Often on front and back ends of the same sentences.

Enigmas. Mysteries. Shamanistic. While at the same time, "obvious despite themselves," to paraphrase Lloyd Cole (a man who comes awfully close to both Henry and Morrissey's abilities through his lyrical talents.)

Yes, both could be considered Saints, I suppose, although both would accept such a title, no doubt, reluctantly. Instead of being praised for what they do for countless souls, saving them, nurturing them, torturing them...all at the same time, through their art, talent and poetry...they'd much rather continue to be true to themselves.

All I know is, they could be brothers, soulmates - and by pulling me in - from two different directions - help keep me centered.

"Hi, we're the PTC...We're Here For Your Brain..."

2005-11-11T18:55:00.000-05:00

Hmmm...The Parents Television Council. Wonder what makes those folks tick? I mean, aside from their obvious adherence to the holier than thou/guilt based teachings of the bible; inability to accept that all of the world is not watered down; and desire to get everyone to conform to their beliefs and to control the minds of parents, children and anyone else who is ball-less enough to take their words to heart (are you listening Toyota? "we read a review by the Parent Television Council about Nip/Tuck and decided to pull our ads...")

Listen, if your child sees something they shouldn't see or hears something they shouldn't hear...it's your fault. Maybe you shouldn't let them watch the goddam show, idiot! Or, better yet, perhaps TELL THEM WHY you would prefer that they don't. It's your fault if you don't. Not the people who made the show, its advertisers or actors. For cryin' out loud...it's not brain surgery. Take some responsibility. Here it is...if you listen to the PTC and allow them to guide you towards your decision - you are an asshole. An asshole who apparently is incapable of thinking for themselves. You think I'm kidding? I'm not. I'm completely serious. Look in the mirror.

Oh, by the way, I take the time to watch what my kids like to watch...or to explain things that they may see that perhaps they may not be ready to see and/or hear - do you? No, you don't. You'd rather have someone else make your decisions for you, wouldn't you? You idiot. Oh, and in case you worry that perhaps my kids will be mentally challenged because they may have caught a "bad word" or "boobie" on a show sometime... I got news for ya Jack... My son is at the top of his class, and my daughter will most likely follow in his footsteps.

Ya see, COMMUNICATING with your kids, NOT SHUTTING OFF ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT CHILD MOLESTING DINOSAUR. Come on! Who's the child here? It's you, retard. YOU are the one that doesn't want to have anything other than watered down "art" available to us.

Have you bothered leaving your house to see the world around you? I mean, if you are a supporter of the PTC, then most likely, by proxy, you believe in "God." Ergo, you believe that abortion shouldn't be legal, but that it's cool to use the "eye for an eye" mentality and kill people on death row. Wow. That particular example of hipocrisy aside, what about the fact that there's mass genocide being perpetuated by our very own government daily - take a look at the news. Why aren't you attempting to shut down Rupert Murdoch from Fox? Why aren't you trying to stop NBC, CBS, CNN, et al from broadcasting the "afterglow" of mass murder of folks who aren't White, Christian, Americans? Yeah, because you're funded by the religious right, aren't you? Praise be. You enjoy not being forced to think, don't you? You want to think that your kids are going to be sheltered from hearing people - bus driver? aunts, uncles? students, teachers? friends? SAYING BAD WORDS! GASP! Say it isn't so!

But, what should I expect? You lemmings are happiest when you're not presented with any kind of parental challenge, and have an easy exit to take down the common sense highway.

It always amazes me when I see the PTC in the news. They have our best interests in mind, right? Ha. Yeah, and I'm the fucking pope. Who do you think are their biggest supporters - since, allegedly - they're a non profit organization? Yeah, Right Wing Christian fanatics. Nice.

I love the way they "celebrate victory" when a show is cancelled or taken off the air - despite their commitment to "not judging the artistic merit of a show, just examing the content...". Hmmm...

Because, after all, if anyone believes in anything other than what is written in "the good book" - you're a liar, a sinner and are obviously incapable of thinking for yourself.

Well, that's it. I guess I'm going to hell - if there is one. Although, I'm relatively certain that as long as I am forced to coexist with people like you who work, support or listen to the PTC, FCC or anyone else who is in to watering down our society further than it already it is - that I'm already living in hell...

That's alright. I've got my TV, my mind and Season 2 of Nip/Tuck to finish. Come and take it away from me, motherfucker - and I'll be just as happy to burn your stupid Toyota.

Calm Like A Bomb

2005-11-07T20:32:00.000-05:00

Yeah. Sure you have. You've had days where you felt like in your sleepy eyed start to the day, you reached deep into the pile and grabbed your "fuck with me" t shirt. Then, throughout the day, folks did just that. Seemingly every tentacle of your being exposed, your fellow humans do whatever they can to seek them out and step on them. Cut off your blood flow. Your ability to breathe. Simply through a touch. Physical, emotional, mental. Doesn't matter. They're everywhere. Times like this, the times when the anger is so close. So easy to access. The lid torn assunder by the slightest inference, touch, word. It's GO time. It's ON. It's time to destroy. To tear down mentally any and all who cross paths. Then, finding it impossible to do so, thanks to the irritation boiling to a point of forcing your teeth to clench so tightly together that your jaws are near breaking. Your fingernails tearing into your palms as your fists compress tighter and tighter. Nothing nearby worth hitting. Worth destroying physically. Nothing but yourself. It's not worth it. Albeit soothing, the pain is merely temporary. Punching bags - both real and metaphorically speaking - can't speak and/or hit back, therefore making them useless. No, all that's left is to channel the anger, get in touch with it, remember it's there. That at the end of the day, it is part of you. It runs things. That no matter how much love you have for your family and friends - it's there. Watching, monitoring, and yes, controlling, by virtue of being in whatever sick, twisted way - at the root of all you do. It motivates as it permeates. It moves through you and keeps you moving. Vertical. Horizontal. Sleep? It's there. It doesn't go away. It fuels your passion. Your non conformity. Your ability to stand up for yourself amongst those who are weaker. Those who push and push and push - daring you to push back. It gives you the strength to lash out just enough - and maybe allows you a smile later. It tells you to count to ten. To drink more water. You do so. All the while, realizing that those are only temporary fixes. That it will never go away. It may hide. It may go away for months, years...but it's always there. And at the end of the day, you realize that it is...righteous. Correct. Able to be channeled if not controlled. Able to be put to good use. To cleanse. To purify. To bring serenity. To make you...Calm.

What Have I Got?

2005-10-19T10:58:00.000-04:00

What is there really for me to complain about?

I mean, really.

"What have I got?"

"I've got everything."
Membership by birth in a country full of lemmings, robots and cattle. Despite the fact that I stand out like a sore thumb amongst most - especially at my son's school with the soccer moms and dads and the rich folk with more money than they know what to do with aka the upper 10%.

"I've got a wantless need."
A lifetime commitment to perfection. A life of "boxes", a life of no clutter. A life that I've yet to discover - but will search for forever - alone, as it's simply not possible amongst those in my circle, to acheive the levels of OCD that I hold dear to my heart.

"I've got a thoughtless mind."
A one way ticket to a mental breakdown every time the phone rings and I think it's bad news. An inability to accept that the positives far outweigh the negatives. Never stopping long enough to think that something happy may be waiting on the other line.

"I've got a needless want. I can't unwind."
A built in enemy and lover inside of me that I can't escape. The ultimate yin/yang of internal psychological warfare. No matter how much I do, I feel it's never enough. Never enough quantity. Never enough quality. There's always more to acheive. I suppose that's not all that bad - except for the toll it takes mentally and physically. Daily. By the hour. By the minute. As I constantly feel like time is sprinting away from me. And that when I chase it up the highest hill possible, exhausting all of my energies...there's only one way to go...DOWN. And what's waiting? A junk pile consisting of stress, workload and more sleep deprivation.

"I've got a heart that hates."
A heart that hates actions, beliefs of the uneducated masses, those fueled by their refusal to understand - or attempt to do so - why someone might just want to walk in a different direction. It's their behavior, not them that I hate.

"I've got hands that like to break."
Physical restraint. Restraint against punching the countless idiots I encounter daily into oblivion. Walls, punching bags, my fists...feeling the burn instead.

"They tell me, hold on. They never let me go."

"What have I got? I've got everything. What have I got? Nothing much at all."

This is no way to live. I know that. I can't expect the same commitment to inner change and introspection from everyone else I meet, see and/or know. My family keeps me grounded to a point. I give them what they need as best I can. Nothing replaces hugs and words from my immediate family. My wife, children, parents, grandparents...it's good for my sanity that they are around to give me a reference point.

Yet...

"I am a clenched fist, looking for a wall to kiss. I am a locked door looking for a foot to kick me to the floor.

Self rejected, well protected, too locked up inside myself to ever get free..."

Welcome to Me.

WHO are You?

2005-10-02T10:56:00.000-04:00

It's Sunday morning, and I'm worshipping at my own personal church/altar: my chair, my desk, my CD collection shining on me from above. If you know me, you know that music is quite literally a blood of life that I cannot live without. Music is oft times said "to be enjoyed." That's half right. Music is a gift to our ears, minds, souls. It's certainly for our enjoyment, but it's also meant to educate in many circumstances. And, for those circumstances where it's purely fun - that can educate one a bit as well, as to the mindset of those creating.

For me, my favorite bands are the ones who write lyrics that have meaning - or are meant to be interpreted thusly. Examined, explored, re-thought. Most bands that I feel are capable of writing the best lyrics are from countries who live in a society ruled over by royalty...or at least have it on their coins (hello... England, Australia?). Then again, we could just as easily here in the U.S. replace our figure heads on our coins with those of the Saudi Royal Family and not think twice...but I digress.

Have you ever listened to The Who? Have you REALLY ever listened to them? They rank somewhere in my top bands of all time list. The Doors, The Clash, The Ramones, The Rolling Stones, Pearl Jam, Rage Against The Machine, REM, The Smiths, Public Enemy, The Beastie Boys, The Who. It really doesn't get much better than those folks.

Let's stick with Messrs Daltrey, Townsend, Entwhistle, and Moon. Admittedly, I'm no scholar. I also do not deign to be an authority on The Who or their lyrics. But I AM an authority on what lyrics mean to me. With that in mind, I find myself once again amazed as I listen to the wall of sound created by these talented individuals as well as the (mostly) subtle lyrical attacks therein. Rolling simply with selected songs found on "My Generation - The Very Best Of The Who" (since the songs are so neatly organized...if not lacking a few more choice album cuts...that's the problem with best of's however...)

Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere - plain and simply, a song written by Roger Daltrey about doing your own thing - and trusting your instincts and not giving a flying fig about what anyone else thinks. Logic. Imagine that.

My Generation - seriously, do you really need ME to explain this to you?

I'm A Boy- now this one takes a little examination. The premise behind the concept of this song is typical Townsend exploration of fiction (science, and otherwise). And really is amazing. But, what I get out of it is a slam against the typical situation of parents expecting far too much of their kids in an effort to live or succeed vicariously through them, instead of letting the kids live as they are, for what they want to achieve.

I Can See For Miles - "I know you've deceived me, now here's a surprise... I know that you have, 'cause there's magic in my eyes (truth?)" The lyrics continue on in a similar fashion, I love the tinge of anger in the line "now here's a joke on you, you're gonna choke on it, too..." This whole song just reminds me of how much more in tune I am with our government and the evil that permeates it. The pomposity, arrogance that fuels those in the higher positions who think they're getting over on the masses neglect to remember that certain individuals are smarter than them. One of them is me. Nice to meet you...now EAT IT. I see through you.

Pinball Wizard - A song about a savant of sorts. I'm kind of like that in my mind. Viewed as different, alarmist, extremist with my thoughts - but a socio/political champion - of my own causes and those of peace, harmony and destruction of Murder, Inc aka US Government.

The Seeker - the saddest truth within this song is that the person is constantly searching for answers...and that only the day he dies will he fully have all the answers.

Won't Get Fooled Again - Wow. Can it be spelled out any easier? To me, however, this song makes me hope that since we've been fooled twice already by semi-illiterate (or fully functionally illiterate if we're talking about Junior) rhetoric from the Bush Clan. Seems to me we should all be shaking our heads. Not me, because I never voted for King George I or King George II, nor will I vote for Jeb. And let's really hope that folks have wisened up to the family - that they are a family of murderers, liars, cheats. Sorry, but we'll have no one to blame but ourselves if we let Redneck Amerika vote in another person from this family who will trumpet the ideals of Genocide as a plausible solution to worldwide relations.

Let's See Action - not a real overly played or overly exposed Who song, but the lyrics sum it up pretty well:
Let's see action, let's see people,
Let's see freedom up in the air,
Let's see action, let's see people,
Let's be free, let's see who cares.

Let's see action, let's see people,
Let's see freedom up in the air,
Let's see action, let's see people,
Let's be free, let's see who cares.

Yep. Pretty much.

Who Are You - Do any of us really know who were are? Do most of us at least take the time to come up with a few logical ideas? In this case, that's not what the song is about - but my interpretation for purposes here is to remind all of us...to keep on trying to figure it out. Most likely, who you are - is what you know.

Get off your ass and learn - and just "Join Together" with the band, the band of intelligencia.

WHO are you?

I'm Really NOT An Elitist... I'm Just Better Than YOU... or... Ewe Make It So Easy For Me To Nearly Hate Ewe...

2005-09-29T21:09:00.000-04:00

Maybe it's the cliques you're all in. Maybe it's the snobby air you exude as you look high into the sky and fail to acknowledge any other life around you. Oh, don't get me wrong, if I could do the same, I would. Fact is, I try to make eye contact though, because you never know who's gonna say or do something to try and throw you off guard. Then again, you can't be bothered. You've got safety in numbers. You've got each other's backs. You pay each other to be friends. To run for pseudo offices in your elitist societal groups. Soccer Moms and Troop Leaders UNITE! Rejoice! For together, you shall impart your "wisdom" from the holy book (NO! NOT the Bible, dear reader, we're talking about the L.L. Bean catalogues, dummy! Come on, pay attention, will you?) and continue to add to your numbers, bringing more and more lost sheep into the fold. Sheep with no direction...just looking to fit in. Looking to improve their position of power, authority, or just to move up the food chain, farther away from being devoured by the faceless, the unimportant. Your flock shall continue to grow daily, hourly, minutely. But you'll never get me. Or mine. I got over you when I got out of high school. The games, the fiefdoms, the hierarchies. Fuck that shit. I gave you far too much of my energy, my fear, my weakness by letting you ruin what should have been a nonstop learning experience instead of a fashion show. That's the past, though. I've gotten past it, and I daresay, have become a better person. Me and Fred Nietsche. Ya feel me? Didn't think so. Because you're stupid. You spend far too much time worrying about what your kid looks like, rather than asking what they're learning. You spend far too much time worrying about who you're going to be seen talking to, than just enjoying the fact that the kids are growing daily in front of all of our eyes. A REAL smile, a MEANINGFUL friendly hello in passing? Nah. You can't be bothered. Shit, I at least give you a smile, even though I'm thinking inside about watching you smash your souped-up Suburban Assault Vehicle head on into one of your "friends" in front of your kids. But enough about me. I want you to know that I refuse to HATE you. You're not worthy of that emotion. An extreme distaste for you and everything you stand for with your bible thumping church social while fucking your best friend's husband behavior (doesn't little Johnny look JUST like his Uncle...er...his godfather...er...his dad?) is disheartening to say the very least. When you grow up, when you rise above your need for social ladder climbing, when you rise above your striving for acceptance into the mindless masses of cattle in the pen we call Earth, MAYBE then I'll give you a small part of my time for a conversation. Meanwhile, I'll be the one wearing old comfortable jeans and hockey jerseys, watching my son continue to be smarter and richer inside than any and all of your beauty pageant offspring. See you at the next cattle auction. Or, hopefully at the next Lemming launch off the highest cliff. Hey, you could've avoided this bile, ya know. Just remember this line from Joe Strummer "When I get aggression, I give it two times back." Yeah.

Getting off the Angry Chair for a brief moment...

2005-09-23T10:51:00.000-04:00

I'm one lucky SOB. Truly. In spite of the bullshit I deal with every day by the sheer virtue of being a citizen of this allegedly "great" country, I'm blessed.

Over time, I've been able to decide a relatively broad direction of where I want to go and what I want to do with my life.

Part of that included getting married (I am, and extremely happily I might add...), having children (I'm blessed with two beautiful children who I love more than life itself) and finding a "job" that would allow me to use my "talents" to the fullest.

Somehow, I've managed to parlay my average ability as into building a successful company that allows me to work from the comfort of my own home studio/dungeon/office.

I've been angry for so much of my life. Angry with people who thought they were better than me. Angry with people whose minds have been seemingly glued shut so tightly, that they'll likely explode someday. Angry with my inability to acheive perfection in everything I do. Angry with society in general and the folks who push most of the buttons. Angry with the complacency that permeates our society...nay...our world.

But, to take time out from that, to acknowledge that there is indeed light at the end of life's tunnel, is a big step. Here goes.

I've met many heroes in my life. People I've admired from afar for whatever reason. Henry Rollins and Muhammad Ali. Just to name two of my main heroes. I've also been able to cross the fan/fan-ee line with a newfound friend of mine, named Steve Corino. Steve is an amazing individual, not just in the wrestling ring (where he is magical), but being around the same age as me, and having a young son like I do, was a great link to start with. A mutual love of sick and twisted humor, wrestling, video games and chick flicks has allowed us to be friends. Even better, is his ability to see the bigger picture of what he wants to acheive in life. From family to business. To never stop setting goals. I admire folks who are able to rise above and choose their paths - instead of having them set in front of them and taking what is given. Through Steve, I've met some other great folks (including my socio/political brother from another mother Ricky Landell) and I've had a chance to expand my voiceover talents as well - and I'm forever grateful for that.

Some folks that could be considered heroes as well, would be the close friends I've met in the last 3 years that have gotten to know me as a person and not just an average (or worse) voiceover guy. People like Roy Cunningham. A man whose talents are endless, and who will live to be 155 and be happy every second of the way. He's been able to give me words of advice, kicks in the ass, and the shoulder to lean on when things haven't been (at least temporarily) all that great.

My friends, sports and poker buddies, Big Rap, Little Rap, J Dub. I've allowed these guys into my circle of friends. A circle I'm very protective of, as folks tend to come and go throughout life so often, that couldn't care less about what's going on with the real you. These guys provide the laughs and company that I need to combat the daily grind. They're damn good at it too.

My co-conspirators in the software industry who help me build, represent and sell a product that my family has worked hard to create. The few hours of time I get to spend with Sam and Michele are some of the most intense, insane and hilarious times I've ever had - and ever will have. Energy? Yeah. You can see the glow when we're together. And feel the heat too. We're special. The three of us together are unbelievable and unbeatable. Love you two.

It's difficult to be as proactive and angry as I am at seemingly all times. But, it's made much easier when I can share the thoughts and ramblings with people who genuinely care. To like me, love me, in spite of me. The unrequited love from my family is always there as well. I've got such a great familial unit. I've been lucky to have a mother who has guided me down many of life's highways and shown me through her actions that I have the ability to overcome ANYTHING. My dad and stepmom are so worthy of my respect and undying gratitude as well. My brother and sister...amazing individuals, both. Education, Love, Respect, Honor, Virtue, Hard Work. Where does it end?

Why anyone would want to tolerate a talkative, verbose, angry person like me as a friend, business partner or whatever, I truly don't know. But, I'll take it.

It seems to be a rare thing nowadays to let someone know how much they mean to you. Fears of being mocked, misunderstood or made fun of - or blown off - are very real. I don't feel that with the folks mentioned above - my true friends. I consider them to be family. They've proven themselves to be worthy of my trust and time. I respect and love all of them as only true friends can. And I really feel like I needed to get that energy out there.

I'm blessed indeed.

Thanks guys.

Steve

Alphabet Soup

2005-09-22T13:25:00.000-04:00

So I hear that our country is running out of names for tropical storms and hurricanes...oh the humanity! What do we do? What a travesty! Someone call FOX NEWS!!!! Tell ya what I'm gonna do, since I know our "president" is a) busy studying Hooked On Phonics, b) choking down pretzels, c) playing baseball with his stupid dog, d) plotting the further distruction of foreign relations and/or any potential peaceful co-existence with those who share the world around us, or e) finishing up a Cheney induced "time out" in the corner and sucking his thumb... I'll take care of figuring out future storm names for us. I'll just use the current administration, and the people, places, things and descriptions that make it "work"(?)...and we'll be good til at least the next election day. Sound good?

Here we go. (by the way, be sure to include the name "Tropical Storm" and/or "Hurricane" on your own. And for crissakes, will someone crank up the Terror Alert to Polka Dot? THANK YOU.)

Autocracy ("I thought we were an autonomous collective?" "You're foolin' yourself...)
Bush (see...Idiot, Retarded, Malicious, Evil, Daddy's Boy, Lost...)
Crackhead (Well, there's one in the White House, why shouldn't there be one on every corner?)
Death Penalty (Would a Christian "God" really want us to Kill anyone...especially in an act of revenge? Hmmm...)
Election Fraud (Hey Florida...thanks a lot. Dicks.)
Fluke (see election fraud and/or Bush's G.E.D. certificate and/or Yale Diploma...)
Genocide (note to self: Someone named Bush is in office...better order more body bags AND don't move to any country where skin color is any darker than pink...)
Homeless (numbers have increased since 2000...coincidence?)
Inflation (see homeless)
Jobless (see inflation)
Kill (...or be unpatriotic, you...commie!)
Lemming (Soon to be replacing the Bald Eagle as our National Masthead...)
Morphine (I could use some to numb the pain of being an American Citizen in the Bush Era...)
New Orleans (who knew? well, apparently just the FEDS...)
O'Reilly (Mr. O'Reilly regrets to inform us all, that he's busy waxing Sean Hannity's back right now, but will be back soon with more idiotic, syncophancy soon)
Patriot Act (Whatever you do...just OBEY YOUR GOVERNMENT...)
Qusay (Poor bastard...wonder if he and his brother are playing soccer with all the athletes and innocent Iraqi citizens that they killed, maimed and tortured over the years... )
Recession (Just like Grandma used to make!)
Saudi Family (Keeping the guest room warm and fresh for the Bush Family for years and years and years...)
Tax Breaks For The Rich (3 cheers for the upper 1%! Huzzah!)
Uday (see Qusay)
Veteran Benefit Cuts (Welcome back! Thanks for doing YOUR JOB as an AMERICAN CITIZEN. Now, we're gonna need your wallet. And your clothes. AND your food, soldier. Fall out. Move it!)
Welfare (Problem? What problem?)
X-tacy (Wonder if G Dub ever tried it? Wait a second... THAT'S why he always has that lost look in his eye...)
YoYo (as in the one in the White House)
and...
Zero Tolerance (you know, for any non-white, non-christian, non-male, non-straight individuals...)

In an effort to further piss off my conservative/right wing/white/christian friends...I defer to the gentleman scholar from Flint, MI

2005-09-12T09:06:00.000-04:00

To All My Fellow Americans Who Voted for George W. Bush:

On this, the fourth anniversary of 9/11, I'm just curious, how does it feel?

How does it feel to know that the man you elected to lead us after we were attacked went ahead and put a guy in charge of FEMA whose main qualification was that he ran horse shows?

That's right. Horse shows.

I really want to know -- and I ask you this in all sincerity and with all due respect -- how do you feel about the utter contempt Mr. Bush has shown for your safety? C'mon, give me just a moment of honesty. Don't start ranting on about how this disaster in New Orleans was the fault of one of the poorest cities in America. Put aside your hatred of Democrats and liberals and anyone with the last name of Clinton. Just look me in the eye and tell me our President did the right thing after 9/11 by naming a horse show runner as the top man to protect us in case of an emergency or catastrophe.

I want you to put aside your self-affixed label of Republican/conservative/born-again/capitalist/ditto-head/right-winger and just talk to me as an American, on the common ground we both call America.

Are we safer now than before 9/11? When you learn that behind the horse show runner, the #2 and #3 men in charge of emergency preparedness have zero experience in emergency preparedness, do you think we are safer?

When you look at Michael Chertoff, the head of Homeland Security, a man with little experience in national security, do you feel secure?

When men who never served in the military and have never seen young men die in battle send our young people off to war, do you think they know how to conduct a war? Do they know what it means to have your legs blown off for a threat that was never there?

Do you really believe that turning over important government services to private corporations has resulted in better services for the people?

Why do you hate our federal government so much? You have voted for politicians for the past 25 years whose main goal has been to de-fund the federal government. Do you think that cutting federal programs like FEMA and the Army Corps of Engineers has been good or bad for America? GOOD OR BAD?

With the nation's debt at an all-time high, do you think tax cuts for the rich are still a good idea? Will you give yours back so hundreds of thousands of homeless in New Orleans can have a home?

Do you believe in Jesus? Really? Didn't he say that we would be judged by how we treat the least among us? Hurricane Katrina came in and blew off the facade that we were a nation with liberty and justice for all. The wind howled and the water rose and what was revealed was that the poor in America shall be left to suffer and die while the President of the United States fiddles and tells them to eat cake.

That's not a joke. The day the hurricane hit and the levees broke, Mr. Bush, John McCain and their rich pals were stuffing themselves with cake. A full day after the levees broke (the same levees whose repair funding he had cut), Mr. Bush was playing a guitar some country singer gave him. All this while New Orleans sank under water.

It would take ANOTHER day before the President would do a flyover in his jumbo jet, peeking out the widow at the misery 2500 feet below him as he flew back to his second home in DC. It would then be TWO MORE DAYS before a trickle of federal aid and troops would arrive. This was no seven minutes in a sitting trance while children read "My Pet Goat" to him. This was FOUR DAYS of doing nothing other than saying "Brownie (FEMA director Michael Brown), you're doing a heck of a job!"

My Republican friends, does it bother you that we are the laughing stock of the world?

And on this sacred day of remembrance, do you think we honor or shame those who died on 9/11/01? If we learned nothing and find ourselves today every bit as vulnerable and unprepared as we were on that bright sunny morning, then did the 3,000 die in vain?

Our vulnerability is not just about dealing with terrorists or natural disasters. We are vulnerable and unsafe because we allow one in eight Americans to live in horrible poverty. We accept an education system where one in six children never graduate and most of those who do can't string a coherent sentence together. The middle class can't pay the mortgage or the hospital bills and 45 million have no health coverage whatsoever.

Are we safe? Do you really feel safe? You can only move so far out and build so many gated communities before the fruit of what you've sown will be crashing through your walls and demanding retribution. Do you really want to wait until that happens? Or is it your hope that if they are left alone long enough to soil themselves and shoot themselves and drown in the filth that fills the street that maybe the problem will somehow go away?

I know you know better. You gave the country and the world a man who wasn't up for the job and all he does is hire people who aren't up for the job. You did this to us, to the world, to the people of New Orleans. Please fix it. Bush is yours. And you know, for our peace and safety and security, this has to be fixed. What do you propose?

I have an idea, and it isn't a horse show.

Yours,
Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com
mmflint@aol.com

God Bless Amerika... Well, at least the STRAIGHT, RICH, WHITE FOLK...

2005-09-11T10:34:00.000-04:00

September 11, 2005. 4 years removed from the bombing of NYC. I remember it as if it was yesterday. My son, 3 1/2 at the time, just dropped off at pre-school, only to be picked up by me a few minutes later after the shit started blowing up. My mind racing as I thought of my wife, 7 months pregnant with our 2nd child. Trying to convince her to leave work - where she had no contact with TV/Radio or other media to at least drop the word that we were "under attack."

As it turns out, no further bombings, blow ups or death knells occured before she got home. Our daughter was born on the the 9th of November and all was well. Seemingly.

See, because of 9/11 - and more accurately, due to the events leading up to it and since - the U.S. economy has taken a downward spiral, unemployment rates have skyrocketed nationwide (especially HERE in Michigan... just ask US) and our country has continued to rise in the eyes of the rest of the world's nations - rising that is, on the BULLY SCALE.

Fear perpetuates hatred. And, as long as we continue to incite fear amongst every nation that is outside of our bounds...we should be ready for anything. It's not the folks in the Middle East who we're holding down by the throat that we should fear. It's not the French, who we ridicule and piss off whenever we can - just for the sake of doing so, because they're allegedly a weaker country full of snobbish, smelly..."frogs"...I believe that's how the uninformed, illiterate masses stateside refer to our brothers and sisters in France.

Quite frankly, what I fear most, is our own government.

Is there a reason why I SHOULDN'T?

Considering the alleged "democracy" in place feels that perpetuating anger and hatred HERE against anyone from any country who doesn't abide by the rules of OUR democracy. A democracy which was built upon thievery, hatred, genocide. You don't look like us? You're a savage and must be annihilated. Yes. How do you think the native people of this country feel... especially considering that en masse, they tend to be the societies that are most repressed and avoided when it comes to government help. And you can take your uneducated, retarded comments about "they've got all the casinos..." and shove them up your illiterate ass.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. I'm no bleeding heart liberal extremist... BUT... with the homeless, jobless, healthcare-less issues here in our own country, doesn't simple logic dictate that PERHAPS we should protect our OWN people from our OWN GREED FIRST?

No, of course it's not logical to do that.

Anyone who READS knows that in order for the rich to keep getting richer and to protect the interests of those interested in fattening their own tax free subsidies and bank accounts, the first order of business is to protect our own asses...and assets. If we don't protect THAT...who will? We've only got enough money to stay afloat for 10000 more generations...it is of utmost importance that we make it 10001. Not only that, but there's an OIL SHORTAGE!!!! Haven't you heard? Good sweet mother of all things holy, we only own 90% of the reserves worldwide and have untapped sources we're sitting on (and hiding, purposely) HERE in our own COUNTRY. WE NEED MORE!!!!

See where this is going? Probably not, because there's so many sources of info at work here. Let me put it in as small a nutshell as I can.

Our GREED, our IGNORANCE, our EGO... is collectively regressing our country and its advancement - in the guise of some sick, twisted alleged "WORLDWIDE LEADERSHIP."

Do we really think we need to lead with the attitude of "love us or stay out of our killing zone perimeter"?

Do we really think we need to lead with the attitude of "stay on our path - the path of white supremacy, christian teachings, genocide" in order to survive as a country?

Weeding out those who disagree with the U.S. Government, taking over mainstream media, doling out lies, deceit, seeds of intolerance. This is daily routine for this "safe" place we live.

Are you saying you really proud of what is given to you on a daily basis? What is put in front of you to SHUT UP AND CONSUME? You're alright with just TAKING IT? Too busy to question the answers? You've bought in? You'd still "rather live here than anywhere else when it comes down to it," because you enjoy "freedoms"? What freedoms do you have that you feel are so important that other countries are missing out on. Or, threatening to take from you?

Ha. HAHAHA. You're bombarded every second, every minute, every hour with propaganda DESIGNED to bring you closer in. To get you to just go along with the '1984' Gihad. Think I'm exaggerating? Have you bothered to READ through the Patriot Act? Have you seen pictures, read stories about the illegally kept prisoners at Guantanomo Bay (and let's be honest, other "not so easily seen" places)? You're a slave. If you've bought in to this tripe - you're a goddamn slave. You're welcome. I hope you enjoy eating the shit that is put on your plate every single day. Congratulations, you're a ZOMBIE. Wheeeee. Isn't it great? Isn't it fun? To just "go along with the ride". To just "take it easy and enjoy life as it happens." You're taught to hate anyone who's not watered down and just like the feds want YOU to be. Ever see THX1138? Ever read 1984? Okay, ever HEARD of either one of them? Check 'em out. OBSERVE CLOSELY. Then, ignore their message like you normally do. Sigh.

Not on my watch. I often wonder if what I write hits any nerves with anyone who reads it. If anyone looks at it and instead of saying "jeeez, here he goes again on one of his rants...", says "gee, I never thought about it that way before, but DAMN! I AM becoming a slave."

Probably not. It's lonely being in the minority - but to me, it's about quality not quantity. I know our numbers have become few and far between. However, as long as alternative news sources (read: anything NOT on CNN, Fox, MSNBC, et al) are available, there's at least a glimmer of hope.

Maybe the hippies weren't so far off. I mean, without the drug consumption, I think their musings of peace, love, happiness, music - were pretty in line with what the hell you should AT LEAST be considering. "What's so funny about peace, love and understanding...whoa ohhh." Thanks, Elvis (that's Costello, NOT Presley). If only folks would listen.

Ask yourself what comes from repression. What comes from violence against anyone who's DIFFERENT. What comes from forcing the masses to assimilate. Or at least attempting to do so.

The more we enforce our ideals upon those who aren't ready or those who say "hey, thanks, really...but we'll be okay. truly. we appreciate it, though. see ya." The more we're opening ourselves up to hatred from beyond our own borders. Don't you SEE IT YET?

Do I need to shake you? Do you get it? By the way, the government fully understands the ramifications of "Forceful Americanized Democracy" possibly being attacked by folks from afar (violence and hatred for example) - which is why the military is continually given more and more money for more and more weapons. Does this make sense to you? I laugh at the sheer, brutal, intense stupidity of it all. I laugh even harder - to keep from crying - at the fact that you take it. That you see it as "okay". That you support our efforts of war against countries (yes, even those that we failed to pinpoint by just a few thousand miles to the south...Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Afghanistan...ehhh...who notices the difference...obviously not the masses and/or the government). That you support war as an option to begin with.

That you fail to recognize the mistake(s) made by this current administration from day one. Oh, they were executed very well for what they've been from day one. Just not with the best interests of anyone not closely affiliated with Oil and/or the Bush Family/Friendship circle in mind.

That, while he is an ASSHOLE and a MURDERER (though NOT of American lives), Saddam Hussein was NOT the best target to spend our troops and money on. That Osama has his dialysis machine in tow and up and down and under the mountains he goes, allegedly incapable of being discovered by the incredible star wars machinery we've got in place. Wow. Maybe he's CHRIST!?

Speaking of Osama, and in attempt to tie this all to today's "anniversary". Do you really think he designed the attack on our country because he hates our "freedoms"? Aren't there other countries who are a helluva lot more free than we are? Oh yeah, there are. Think, read, learn. To quote SEVERAL SOURCES (mostly BURIED here in the states...just ask King George II) Osama perpetuated his attack "based on our support for Israel as well as our ties with Saudi Arabia and the military bases we have there" (thank you David Cross). Not because he's a freedom hater. He's an asshole as well, no doubt. Some of his texts about intolerance and his feelings about women's roles are simply offensive on their own. So, to that end, I don't support what he believes. Nor (and I think I've made this clear) do I support MASS MURDER. However, that non-support crosses all boundaries and INCLUDES the fact that we shouldn't tolerate any genocide perpetuated BY OUR OWN FUCKING COUNTRY. OKAY?

Finally, as you reflect on whatever you were doing on 9.11.01 and/or choosing to pick today and today only to thank the firemen and police of the world for what they do for us and/or thanking the "heavens" for your "freedoms"...hug your family and just be grateful that you haven't been arrested for conspiracy, outed as a "terrorist" by our own terroristic government, or otherwise ostracized and/or killed... yet. Keep buying in. And wait.

Seriously, PLEASE...start reading. It's okay to not be a lemming or sheep. It's okay not to consume the government subsidized kool aid.

Happy Anniversary.

I Got Your Approval Rating... RIGHT HERE...

2005-09-06T10:13:00.000-04:00

...I want to thank my brotha Joe for sending the information below to me. It's the same information I read for myself late last week. Amazing what facts can do to a person, when they're actually released. Please read through it - whatever your affiliations may be. This is another glaring example of ridiculous mismanagement of funding within the current regime in place here in the states.

Hindsight is 20/20, and while I'd never blame King George II for starting a hurricane.... the storm within my heart and soul rages daily - and is gaining momentum daily due to the deceit, hatred, nepitism and greed - not to mention the intentional "dumbing down" of the docile, complacent, non thinking masses that make up the majority of our neighbors all around us - that fuels this president and his team.

Go ahead and tell me I'm over-reacting, that I'm being reactionary, alarmist or ridiculously over the top. That's what Gee Dub would want.

I'm choosing to vent to 1) help deal with stuff that, as a concerned HUMAN BEING troubles me, and to 2) further educate myself daily as to what is happening around us - and to question the answers rather than simply accept them.

I don't break the law. I don't beat my wife and kids. I don't want to join any angry groups and take up arms. I'm not looking to be involved with a coup of any kind. I DO however, want to be well learned enough to deal with things that JUST AREN'T RIGHT.

Pray for the folks who are suffering through this disaster. Pray for the future of our children as well - because in light of the forces of nature working against us at times, we're dealing with a long tunnel filled with stateside terrorism, perpetuated by our own alleged "democracy" - one that is of the firm belief that we're living "One Nation, under GREED, taking liberties with the poor and unknowing, and justice for the rich".

I didn't mean to get off on such a tangent. For the verbosity - I apologize. For the content - I will never apologize.

As Steve Earle has said: "The most important thing to remember is, no matter what anyone tells you, it is NEVER EVER unpatriotic or un-american to question ANYTHING in a democracy."

And Mark Twain as well: "PATRIOTISM is supporting your country ALL the time, and your government when it DESERVES it."

and finally, MY SON: "Daddy, if the Government has so much money, they should SHARE it with the poor people?"

Below is the text which incited this rant. Thanks for reading.

September 1, 2005, The Washington Monthly

CHRONOLOGY....Here's a timeline that outlines the fate of both FEMA and
flood control projects in New Orleans under the Bush administration:

January 2001: Bush appoints Joe Allbaugh, a crony from Texas, as head of
FEMA. Allbaugh has no previous experience in disaster management.

April 2001: Budget Director Mitch Daniels announces the Bush
administration's goal of privatizing much of FEMA's work. In May, Allbaugh
confirms that FEMA will be downsized: Many are concerned that federal
disaster assistance may have evolved into both an oversized entitlement
program.... he said. Expectations of when the federal government should be
involved and the degree of involvement may have ballooned beyond what is
an appropriate level.

2001: FEMA designates a major hurricane hitting New Orleans as one of the
three likeliest, most catastrophic disasters facing this country.

December 2002: After less than two years at FEMA, Allbaugh announces he is
leaving to start up a consulting firm that advises companies seeking to do
business in Iraq. He is succeeded by his deputy, Michael Brown, who, like
Allbaugh, has no previous experience in disaster management.

March 2003: FEMA is downgraded from a cabinet level position and folded
into the Department of Homeland Security. Its mission is refocused on
fighting acts of terrorism.

2003: Under its new organization chart within DHS, FEMA's preparation and
planning functions are reassigned to a new Office of Preparedness and
Response. FEMA will henceforth focus only on response and recovery.

Summer 2004: FEMA denies Louisiana's pre-disaster mitigation funding
requests. Says Jefferson Parish flood zone manager Tom Rodrigue: You would
think we would get maximum consideration....This is what the grant program
called for. We were more than qualified for it.

June 2004: The Army Corps of Engineers budget for levee construction in
New Orleans is slashed. Jefferson Parish emergency management chiefs
Walter Maestri comments: It appears that the money has been moved in the
president's budget to handle homeland security and the war in Iraq, and I
suppose that's the price we pay.

June 2005: Funding for the New Orleans district of the U.S. Army Corps of
Engineers is cut by a record $71.2 million. One of the hardest-hit areas
is the Southeast Louisiana Urban Flood Control Project, which was created
after the May 1995 flood to improve drainage in Jefferson, Orleans and St.
Tammany parishes.

August 2005: While New Orleans is undergoing a slow motion catastrophe,
Bush mugs for the cameras, cuts a cake for John McCain, plays the guitar
for Mark Wills, delivers an address about V-J day, and continues with his
vacation. When he finally gets around to acknowledging the scope of the
unfolding disaster, he delivers only a photo op on Air Force One and a
flat, defensive, laundry list speech in the Rose Garden.

So: A crony with no relevant experience was installed as head of FEMA.
Mitigation budgets for New Orleans were slashed even though it was known
to be one of the top three risks in the country. FEMA was deliberately
downsized as part of the Bush administration's conservative agenda to
reduce the role of government. After DHS was created, FEMA's preparation
and planning functions were taken away.

Actions have consequences. No one could predict that a hurricane the size
of Katrina would hit this year, but the slow federal response when it did
happen was no accident. It was the result of four years of deliberate
Republican policy and budget choices that favor ideology and partisan
loyalty at the expense of operational competence. It's the Bush
administration in a nutshell.

Waste Management

2005-08-31T16:38:00.000-04:00

I am the human trash compactor. Every second, every minute, every day, I'm surrounded by other people's trash. The righteous picker upper of the empty fragments of thoughts, feelings and energies of equally empty souls who strive for mediocrity and suck in the same air as me. From the racists to the sexists; from the homophobes to the zealots and all manner of alleged life between. I'm their dumping ground. I see it. I smell it. I taste it. The garbage that you dispose of - your oaths, your hatreds, your stupidity. I've got it all. I collect it. Someday, I'll dispose of it. Meanwhile, I absorb it, consume it and dissolve into it. You'll never get anywhere with the way you are. You'll not change. You'll not learn. What you fail to recognize is that when you litter, I DO learn. Each and every day, another brick is laid in the fortress of my solitude. Higher and higher it builds - like the pile of waste behind it. Oh, I'll not rid myself of it. It'll remain there as a reminder of the sick, desperate, regressed species that you are. The creatures that I've risen above. To look upon the land around me from far enough away to be safe. To experience the things I've learned that it takes to succeed. To conquer. To win. To rid myself of the necessity of picking up after you. Of having to speak to you. With you. My world will be organized. I will not tolerate disrespect, thievery, or murder of innocent life. Human, plant, animal...whatever. I will not be held back by the junk in your collective trunks. I will rise above your insolence, your intolerance. You. You are the single cause RIGHT NOW of my discontent. Recognize it. Change it. Do something to prevent it. To alleviate it. Or, don't. Remain the bringer of anger. The symbol of the negative in my eyes. I don't care what you do. Best if you don't make eye contact - unless you can rise up and start changing. Someday, when I've swept away all the scraps, your carcass will remain. It'll make good fuel to light the eternal fire trail behind me. Then, I will sleep on pillows of bones forever. I'll start with yours.

Let's Talk About The Weather, Man...

2005-08-05T19:48:00.000-04:00

The Weather Underground. Go rent it. Better yet, BUY IT. So that you can watch it over and over again. Learn about revolution. Learn about fighting fire with fire. Unfortunately, learn about how difficult it is to continue fighting the good fight. Learn about how sustaining a movement is inevitably subject to in-fighting, sexism, and "becoming that which you hate."

Gripping, really, this documentary. Knowing that "The Weather Underground" movement was around when I was born and being raised, keeps it in perspective. It shows that there was at least one small (in comparison) group of folks who were fed up enough with the government's policies of repression, genocide, supremicism and "democracy for those who are lucky enough to get it", to do something about it. To rise up and have the balls to fight back. To stand up.

What's unfortunate, is the way the folks in the movement simply disappeared and/or turned themselves in - and ultimately away from the movement. What they did was, quite frankly, within the parameters of the rules that the government had established - and the same parameters that the government ultimately decided that were only for those with "power."

While there are pockets of intelligence, pockets of movements in existence today, there's simply not enough. It's too bad. If more folks would simply be even non-violent, but extremely adamant about their distrust and disbelief in what our "democracy" feels is correct, we'd be better off. "The more things change, the mroe they stay the same." Our genocidal tendencies continue to this day. Take a look at the dead from Vietnam. The village massacres of innocent lives. Including children. If that doesn't make you sick enough, how about the realization that we continue to kill at will in Iraq TODAY. We've lost many of our own military workers there already. Do we really want this to continue? To eventually become another wasted quarter century of presence in a country in which we have no real reason to be? Especially to be, and attempting to force "americanized democracy" on a society which will never stop resisting? We're spinning our wheels, and we simply don't have enough folks here stateside that can see beyond the red, white and blue and/or their feet propped up in their easy chairs watching the biggest cartoon series today - the evening news.

Please. Rise up. Be counted. Let's talk about "the Weather".

Out Of The Frying Pan... Into The Wrestling Ring...AGAIN

2005-07-29T17:45:00.000-04:00

This is how you kill a storyline? One day after I rant about the respect wrestling deserves? I guess it's a good thing I didn't mention WWE as a LEADER in any way in the wrestling industry. Their own avarice and reliance on Hollywood to let their storylines do the talking has backfired, in my opinion anyway.

According to a story on ABCnews.com, WWE gave in to sponsors and fans who objected to their recent Arab-American storyline. While I agree that the storyline did very little to perpetuate many (if any) positive images of the character and/or Arab-Americans in general, I don’t believe that the WWE’s ending of the storyline and press releases surrounding the character’s demise did much of anything to quell the angry sentiments.

Firstly, though, ABC’s statement that “(Hassan) rants and raves about being profiled and discriminated against, especially since Sept. 11, and is usually accompanied by other angry Arab-American men” is false. Usually, it’s only one other man. Secondly, their statement that the final straw was “[the] sketch, which included five men dressed in ski masks and carrying Hassan's manager, Khosrow Daivari, over their heads in what appeared to be a funeral for a suicide bomber…” is INSANE. Since when was Daivari put over as a “Suicide Bomber”?

That kind of irresponsible statement by ABC is a perfect example of how the media perpetuates distrust of anyone who isn’t white, Christian and male in our society. Further, it adds fuel to the argument that mainstream media is increasingly out of touch with reality.

Maybe I’m overreacting to one “journalists” misstatement. But, I cannot stand idly by, while the sport/art that I love the most is attacked. On the other hand, I’m not a big fan of WWE or their storylines or programming to begin with. Especially when I see a statement like this: "He was defeated by the Undertaker and will not return," said Gary Davis, a spokesman for WWE. "Under the circumstances it was a respectful way to tie up the storylines.” Yeah, Gary. About as respectful as the Hollywood movie studios creating hatred in productions like, say, “Top Gun,” that all Russian Soldiers are out spying on us and ready to kill. "The whole point of the storyline and this character was to point out the injustices Arab-Americans have suffered since 9/11," Davis said. So, to be “respectful” to those who have LEGITIMATELY suffered in REAL LIFE after the attacks, we show that Bullies beating them up is okay? That’s how we bring closure? Not that the WWE is any measuring stick of how we should treat people. But still, a very negligent statement.

Yes, yes, I know. Sure, it’s a storyline. Storylines are part of the business. So are the “USA! USA!” chants that generate cheap heat and pops in the ring when you’re dealing with someone from the US in the “hero” role, grappling with anyone else who might be from Canada, Mexico or even further away - like say… the Middle East. But why does it have to be? Why does wrestling have to resort to the same base tactics, and take the easy way out when creating their “art”?

I guess to a certain extent, there could possibly be plenty of artistic gain to be made from challenging folks to rise above their hatreds, misunderstandings, misgivings and anger. But, the anti Arab sentiment is played out. In fact, pushing the reality of intolerance into the Professional Wrestling arena is relatively played out as well. How about just disliking your opponent because temporarily in the way, or he’s got the Belt you want? Come on, let’s rise above racism on every level - especially anyplace where hatred wins out over acceptance. On the streets AND on the screen. It starts with us.

You Wouldn't Know Art If You Were In A Steel Cage With It

2005-07-28T23:17:00.000-04:00

You can say that professional wrestling is a complete waste of time. Not a sport. FAKE. For rednecks and hillbillies only. You could say any or all of that. But you'd be wrong. Oh, sure. You're entitled to your opinion. But, you'd still be off base.

It IS a sport. It DOES take talent - more than you'll ever know. Are the matches "predetermined"? The endings, yes. A few of the moves that take place during... sure. But, the fact remains, it IS a performance art. An art that requires the utmost in athleticism, intelligence, trust. And people all over the country - no, the WORLD - are watching it every single night of the week. Why? What's the attraction? Why do folks flock to it on TV and in arenas everywhere?

I'll tell you how it started for me. It goes back to that "art" thing. I've been a fan for a long time. For as far back as I can remember. So many people that I know hearken back to seeing Hulk Hogan beat the Iron Sheik for the belt on 1.23.84. Jimmy Snuka losing to Don Muraco (yes, he DID lose before the leap) and then leaping on him from high atop the Steel Cage at Madison Square Garden. But not me. Before then, it was wrestling on the SuperStation. National Wrestling Alliance - "The MAJOR LEAGUES of Professional Wrestling". I'd read about it in magazines and be intrigued by results and storylines from all across the country and wish that I could watch it more. I'd sneak it on the tube against my mothers' requests and I'd watch on TBS and see Gordon Solie interviewing Paul Ellering and the Road Warriors, immediately before Hawk & Animal would walk 10 feet to the ring from the broadcast podium and annhiliate Mike Jackson and another skinny white fella in a singlet. I'd be scared just looking at those guys (the Road Warriors... and I guess, Mike Jackson's pasty skin tone... but I digress). Dusty Rhodes. Magnum T.A. Buzz Sawyer. Ronnie Garvin. Jimmy Garvin. Ivan and Nikita Koloff. The Freebirds. The Funk Brothers. The Von Erichs. The Rock N' Roll Express. The Midnight Express. Roddy Piper. Bob and Brad Armstrong. Wildfire Tommy Rich. And of course Ric Flair. With Tully Blanchard, Ole and Arn Anderson, it was always a treat to watch them. The Four Horsemen. To see Flair talk on the microphone was always spectacular. Always believable. You never knew what he'd say next. And, the content of the interviews and the close proximity of the ring usually meant a brawl would take place and as a viewer, you would indeed be enthralled. Captured. Engaged. In love with the spectacle. The sport. Instantaneously.

To me, it was so different from anything else. It was unique. Still is. You just have to know where to look. Because nowadays, it seems that those who don't really know, immediately equate Wrestling with World Wrestling Federation...er...Entertainment. But those who DO know, know that's like watching "Reservoir Dogs" on network television. Watered down. Hollywood-ized. Blah.

Oh sure, the best wrestling to watch still has an element of entertainment to it... but not 4 hours each week of nothing but 2 minute matches sandwiched in between corporatized muscle men with microphones, reading the same script for 4 weeks straight - sort of that "repitition will get the point across thing" - to sell more PPV's every month.

No, the best of the best - the 100's of independent federations all over the world - features promos by the wrestlers, and then, solid matches that consist of actual wrestling technique, acrobatics, dexterity, charisma. They work because they're real. And that's because you're REALLY trusting your opponent. You're REALLY trusting yourself. You're REALLY trusting the BUSINESS. The original intents of the business. You are being TRUE to what has made wrestling live, thrive and grow every single day for 100's of years. You're close to home. THAT is what it's all about. THAT is why some of my favorites - Corino, Daniels, Styles, Low Ki... are names that YOU may have never heard. But I know who they are. So do the REAL fans of Professional Wrestling. Those who are passionate enough to care. To search for heroes with credibility - not "indy cred" per se... but values, morals, personal beliefs that they follow... NOT the trail of receipts attached to a giant checkbook in New York.

They travel together, share life's golden moments together. Things that no one else outside of the businss would or could understand (the travel, the pain...) To that end I guess they're similar to circus folk. Are they "carnies" though? To a certain extent, I suppose. But, that's such a negative intonation, isn't it?. Maybe a bad choice of words, in hindsight. A carny will work you to get your money, all the while putting you over and building you up before cutting off your legs and stealing your wallet. Wrestlers will also work you and at the end of the night WILL get your money - but they'll give you what you've paid for and do it gladly because they love what they do. Again, they're like a family. A fraternity. Oft times, they have many friends amongst those that they work with. Not many outside of it. In my opinion, this is most likely to stay away from those who just don't "get it". To stay close to those who appreciate and understand what could possibly motivate a person to put their body on the line several days and nights a week. To push themselves to and past physical and mental limits for an occasional "high spot" that may make the crowd "pop" - or not. To sweat, bruise and yes, bleed. Oh, do they bleed. All for a paycheck? No. For the love of the game.

Most folks couldn't possibly understand. They still think it's fake (note to those folks: the blood is as real as the sweat, regardless of how it pours), predetermined and lacking substance and/or talent. Again, they'd still be wrong.

It's art. Just like an actor taking the stage. Just like painting a masterpiece. Just like writing a classic novel. Yes, I do put these men and women on that level. If you look past the surface, you'd see it too.

I guess I should count myself as extremely fortunate to have met many men and women in the business. Famous, not so famous... world reknown, known only in their own home. Whatever. I've met and respected each and every one. I admire the honesty, self assuredness, business accumen, talent and ability to be appreciative for every opportunity. How can any of those traits be "bad" or "unworthy of your time"? Answer? They can't be. They're more than worthy. Ask yourself - are YOU doing something for a living that makes you happy? Proud? Would you do it for next to nothing? Would you do it for the simple fact that it's what you feel you're good at and MUST do? No. You probably wouldn't.

As I get set to see the fruits - if any - of my first business venture in the wrestling community, it's a dream come true. And, in my short time on earth, I've had many and had many come true. My children being born. Getting married. Being a successful performer. Owning my own company. Done them. All have special places in my heart, mind and soul. This one does too. To work with someone I've admired for years... and the other folks working behind the scenes and in the ring as well...is almost indescribable. Almost beyond my ability to put in to words, what this means to me. (Anyone who knows me, knows that being speechless is something that would nearly require having my larynx ripped asunder...)

Do me a favor. If you're of the opinion that "big time wrasslin'" isn't much in terms of substance, please remember, it can affect all types of people. Young, old. Rich, poor. Whatever your color. Whatever your orientation. Whatever your beliefs and passions. There are no boundaries to its appeal. Sport, is sport. Art, is art. And when it comes to combining the two, Pro Wrestling - especially on the independent circuit - succeeds.

Here's to all the wrestlers pursuing their dreams, passions, lives and loves - inside the squared circle. And a special tip of the glass to Pro Wrestling World 1 ... may it truly bring happiness and satisfaction to all those involved in bringing the best of the best - to those that KNOW.

Memento... Part 2

2005-07-27T08:44:00.000-04:00

Wow. Just when you thought "Memento" couldn't mess with your head again.

Replace Guy Pearce with a pre Batman Begins/60 lbs lighter/sparrow-like Christian Bale and make the movie about an insomniac who once killed a child in a hit and run...but didn't really remember doing so...and who hasn't slept in over a year. Yeah, things get pretty mind-screw-y.

Since I myself haven't slept more than 4 or 5 hours a night in the longest time, since both of my grandfathers worked around machinery and since I'm constantly leaving myself post-it notes all around my office and home to remind me to do stuff... I thought I'd be able to relate to the main character at least a little. Ha. Yeah, right. That's definitely a stretch. Turns out it was just a completely insane - literally - movie. Daddy like.

Foo Fighters in the tray this morning, Black Coffee (DRINKING BLACK COFFEE...STARE AT THE WALLS...BLACK COFFEE DRINKING BLACK COFFEE...) waiting in the caraffe to my left.

Good morning, indeed.

Hey... close the Doors!

2005-07-23T09:42:00.000-04:00

Anyone who knows me - especially my musical preferences - knows that The Doors have been my favorite band for over half of my existence. I'm not sure where my thoughts stand amongst those who also consider the genius of the collective music as THE measuring stick of music.

Original, innovative, rebellious, always evolving. Bands from today could certainly take a lesson. That being said, Messrs Manzarek and Krieger have been touring with Ian Astbury of The Cult as "The Doors of the 21st Century". DAMN. Ian Astbury and The Cult...you talk about a great band. Wow. I'm sure seeing him singing with two of the Doors would be worth the price of admission. But... and I've got no problem with someone trying to put bread on the table for their families, and let's face it, the first go 'round, the boys spent a lot more cash on "fun" than on family. If you read any of the Doors' members autobiographies or biographies, you'll see that as well. Thing is, money wasn't pouring in to bands then, the way it is now, and probably wouldn't have been saved anyway. Bands aren't the same now as they were back then. Today's bands are paid ridiculous amounts of money - oft times UP FRONT - before even hitting the stage for their very first shows, and for playing music that is uber-mediocre at its best.

Because of their legacy and never ending supply of talent, the Doors would be an exception today. In other words, they'd be worth every penny.

But there's two problems with that thought. One, It wasn't about money with them, and two, the Doors were a foursome.

Not just a group of interchangeable parts with any 4, though. The Doors existed, because of the talent put together by 4 dynamic, unique and genius musicians. EVERY one of them brought something different to the table - and without any and all of the components, they're not complete and WHOLE. To those folks who worship Jim Morrison, or at the very least, equate the Doors' success to his alleged leadership... I say, think again. He was a better than average poet, but not a singer. Without a bandleader like Ray, a percussionist like John and an original guitar virtuoso like Robby, there'd be no Jim, and most importantly no Doors. The whole is simply one million times better than any one of its parts.

I hear sentiments all the time about bands like The Beatles, Elvis Presley...Pink Floyd (hang on... I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...) being avant...or genius...or something special. Sorry, they don't cut it in my book. You constantly hear from the mediocre masses about some new band being "the next..." You never hear that comparison made to the Doors. There will never be another group like them.

I know marketing. I know of the behind the scenes trappings that are in place to keep folks from being too successful, as well. Contracts are put in place to make the suits richer. Period. The lawyers in the case between Manzarek/Krieger and Densmore were probably chillin' after every day in court, tossing back shots and giving each other handies under the table while they fill up the jukebox and listen to The Doors Greatest Hits over and over in the smoke filled bar.

John lost part of his hearing a while back, couldn't hang with Robby and Ray and do what they do at that intensity level. Fine. No hard feelings. From the get, however, there was an agreement. I hate that lawyers got involved, but "word is bond". If there truly will never be The Doors again, why push the issue? In a way, Robby and Ray are pushing the "one remaining original (well 5 years after the originals, I was added to the lineup, ergo I'm an original part of the band...)" envelope that one sees played out on the County Fair circuit. The exceptions are few and far between.

Again, no offense to Ian, Robby or Ray. But, let the fans enjoy their original Doors vinyl, tapes, CD's etc... and let a sleeping dog lie. The royalties to pass along to your grandchildren are more than well deserved for what you've already wrought. You are/were incredible as a unit. Still uber-talented today. But without John and, truly, without Jim, you're NOT the Doors. Call yourselves "Huxley Was Just Right On" or something.

Close the Doors, my friends, close the Doors.

Going Out Strange

2005-07-14T11:26:00.000-04:00

7.14.05
Title seemed appropos considering how I feel at this moment, and considering it's the song playing in the tray. Thanks Henry.

Not because of any socio-political views. Not because of any internal rage. Not for anything other than bad food and bad timing, I don't think. I've been feeling "acidic" for nigh on 6 weeks now. Nothing sits well. EVERYTHING looks good to eat. Nothing agrees to be eaten.

Maybe there are some comparisons to be made between the bile in my gut and the bile I store in my head to eventually put on paper, or screen, as it were. I don't know. I DO know that I can't afford to be sick. I can't afford to pay for it. I've got enough money for my kids to stay healthy. I don't need to be getting sick. I should be punished for getting there. For having no insurance at the moment. It's tough with only one provider of income in a family of 4 (6, if you count the cats).

Meanwhile, my guts are churning and have been since summer began. I feel like one of those zombie dudes in the Romero movies that my boy J Dubb digs. It's been a helluva ride the last 6 weeks. There's been good and bad - and very little in between. Including time to slow down. I've not had much time for myself - and when I DO get it, I wonder how I should be using it for work.

Stress? Yeah, it's there. I can't relax. And before you say anything, all the med's in the world can't remedy that. It's just the way I am. I keep waiting for the other steel capped boot to fall - because history shows me that it always does. It's that Balance in the Universe thing, I suppose. I can't sleep at night. I toss and turn as soon as my eyes shut. Very rarely do I get a solid 5.5 or more.

And believe me when I say it's catching up. There's no time to take vacation. I can't take time off of work. Not even a question. The food my body refuses to consume/allow, the sleep my body refuses to partake in. Threw up last night. It was painful. Violent. Sobering. Still have that sick feeling/queasiness riding along with me this morning. Constantly feeling like I should just keep a stick handy and let myself go every 3 hours or so, to stay "clean" inside. If I was into drugs, I could understand. But considering all I'm consuming (liquid wise) is water and haven't touched coffee in several days (good thing the coffee maker is broken...despite the bile in my stomach, I'd still be tempted to make a pot every morning...). Maybe I should start smoking. Drinking heavily. Shooting up. I don't know. Something to justify the way I've been feeling.

Nobody said life is easy. Nor do I want it to be. I just wish I could fight it without feeling like I'm going to spew something other than verbal diatribes at all times. Hard to be happy and slow down to count your blessings when you're afraid you may pass out from the pressure of doing anything other than sitting and working. And, as much of a hardass I attempt to be, I don't want seemingly everything that seemingly every person says to register with me as banal minutiae and/or "fighting words". But, this sickness brings the Zero Tolerance Factor up to 11 (a brief respite as I smile at myself for referencing Spinal Tap... okay... moment's passed.).

It won't be long now. "They're coming to get you, Barrrrbraaaaa"

Going out strange, indeed.

I'd Rather Be In Paris...

2005-07-12T10:39:00.000-04:00

Had another dream about Paris Hilton last night. She's always such a treat to hang out with in dream land. Smart, funny. She was telling me how she and her mother like me a lot. She invited me to go to Chicago for the night to go to a concert and/or a movie. Even asked if Holly would have an issue with letting me go. Weird. Ended up in the shower... but nothing crazy going on... well, except for the fact that I was in the shower with PARIS. Sheesh. I'm sure there's some explanation here somewhere, but I don't care. I know that she gets a bad rap in the press and the web and everywhere else. In real life, I for one, admire her ability to say "hey, I've got money... but there's a lot more going on here. I wanna get married, have kids, be like my mom." Amazing how the better qualities about her get pushed to the back burner, in lieu of as much negative press folks can seem to scrounge up. Too bad, really, because I'm sure she's alright.

Anger Issues? No. Anger Management? Absolutely.

2005-07-11T20:40:00.000-04:00

7.11.05
Back from a day on the road. Had a lot of time to think. Too much, perhaps. Aside from swearing a wee bit much (that part I agree with... was pretty TO'd that day I suppose), apparently I've offended a scattered few friends with this blog. Interesting. Hit too close to home with some of the info, apparently. Since I managed to rail against nearly every intolerant and single minded - and coincidentally ACCEPTED AS "RIGHT" - part of our society - which, let's be honest, represents nearly everyone - I can understand how that would be possible.

While I admire your ability to speak up and to have your opinion that I may have "issues," why am I not allowed to be passionate about that which I'M offended by? Oh, wait. I AM. That's why it's the personal thoughts from ME. Offended by my truth? Tough to swallow with the complaceny cocktails you consume daily? Take me out of your diet. I won't be offended by your leaving. Most folks don't take the time to care beyond their couch.

But, you wanna go to war about beliefs? Let's go. It's on. Bring what you've got. Remember, you're on my home territory here. I guess if you feel I've missed the boat. That I'll suffer for all eternity if I don't change my ways. Then, maybe, just maybe... the right thing to do is to... forgive me.

However, I don't want to take this time to get into my "non trust" in organized religion. Nor will I discuss my inability to worship a piece of cloth. Pulpits and Flagpoles will be safe for today anyway.

Let's reset the situation.

Middle class hard working, hard punishing upbringing brings about a relatively normal, if not overly loud and obnoxious, but still relatively charming as needed, young man. Said young man grows up thankful for the roof over his head and the parents (all 3) that provided clothing, food and shelter; siblings that seem to dig him pretty well, and parents who at the very least tolerate his ability to get good grades and lead a relatively boring life (compared to others his age) while being raised in Middle Class America. Doesn't drink. Doesn't smoke. Doesn't do drugs, abuse women or puppies. Gets BAPTIZED! Gets a full ride scholarship to college. Gets first full time job at the age of 20, begins tour of duty in the radio business, discovering an unbridled passion for creativity finally realized when opening own voiceover company in 2000 at 29. Along the way, marries, has two kids, buys house, sells house, moves, lives in house owned by wife's parents, but relatively out from under lock and key. Never been in trouble with the law (despite nearly getting arrested for being with minors in possession in the summer of 1990 while working at Cedar Point.) Personal income from two business ventures tops $100 large. Continues to grow on a daily basis. Survives several presidential elections of Republicans who seem bent on destroying anyone not white, male and christian. Gets fed up with this intolerance - and the racism surrounding him at every corner in Redneck, USA. And bad drivers, too. Realizes that life continues to be difficult and perhaps even more difficult as time goes on... not easier. Despite this cognization, still manages to deal with everything that upsets him with paper, pen and journal writing in lieu of physical harm to any other creatures (except for spiders. he hates them.). Feeling like a much better person for dealing with issues thusly. Yet, for this, some of his "friends" take his passionate diatribes against the complacent cattle running rampant in this country as a terrible thing.

Interesting. Anger issues? Nah. Seems to me the above mentioned young man has grown up pretty well. Since I am that fellow, I speak from experience. Indeed, I've become increasingly intolerant and PROACTIVE, to combat the loss of my fellow soldiers daily. Soldiers with brains. Soldiers who read. Soldiers who stomach the filth in front of them daily. Survivors. Soldiers who decide along the way that the road to Easy Street starts with giving up and taking it. With just accepting what is given to them on TV or delivered from the pulpit - and widely/blindly believed (that is to say, without at least researching or questioning) More power to them. They have that right. But, when that threshold is broached, they belong in no regiment of mine.

I don't want them. This web blog is called Zero Complacency for a reason. Then again, I have a long way to go to overcome my own oxymoronic existence. Although I am cognizant of it, I am steadily railing against things and people to the end that I'm less and less tolerant myself. Intolerant of Intolerance. Intolerant of Complancence. I border on piousness at times. BUT, let me make it clear, I feel no more important than any other walking pile of flesh, just more driven than the average metropolitan populations of China and the U.S. combined. And, at the very least, I'm at least making an effort to recognize with all my senses, the "BS" coming down the feeding tube on a daily basis. I don't like the way it tastes or smells. I don't want to be lumped in with those who simply can't take a stand - a real stand. Backed up with zealousness, passion, CARE. I'm not a zombie.

I refuse to accept things I disagree with, without questioning the sources. I can't. Why should I let a lying dog sleep? Try doing the same. You may be surprised to see their lack of depth when questioned. Then again, if you believe what's presented en masse, without the ability to be bothered to question any of it, don't trouble yourself.

I've got enough friends. If this blog serves to turn some folks off and/or away...well... how can I apologize for expressing what's inside? If I hold it in, and don't bring it out - won't I be bowing to that which I've been constantly railing against? There's enough folks who at the very least APPRECIATE that I'm not going to take what's thrown at me without a fight if needed. I THINK they also appreciate my candor, honesty and educated opinions - even if and ESPECIALLY IF they don't agree with my sentiments. I know who they are. I know who they AREN'T, too. The circle is relatively small. I like it that way. Always have. Allows me to focus that positive energy on the right people.

"What have I got? I've got everything." I have an awesome wife. She tolerates me. I have a pair of awesome kids. They're ahead of the curve intellectually and are the most loving children I've ever met. I have a small handful - maybe a couple handfuls (heh heh heh) of awesome friends. I have an awesome career(s). I apparently have issues with overusing the word "awesome". I have an intolerance FOR intolerance. A hatred for hatred. But, no, I DON'T HATE anyone and I sure as hell DON'T have anger issues. I feel I manage it quite well given the world that exists outside of my shell.

I'd much rather come across as "over the top" or "overtly passionate"... than "accepting, docile and resigned to the lot that appears to have been put forth"... that ain't me.

Sarcastic, Tongue In Cheek, Crass, To The Point? Sure. Educated, smart, quick witted (some may argue for the inclusion of the word "dim" there as the conjugation...but...). Absolutely.

Better than anyone else? Nope. But at the end of the day, I know I can look at myself in the mirror and know that I gave SURVIVING the onslaught of BS that most others get mired in daily, the best effort possible. That I firmly believe in everything I believe in. Without hesitation. That I firmly DISAGREE with things that I firmly disagree with. Without question. That I CARE enough... to CARE about what's happening to and around me.

Do you?

Censorship RULES!!!

2005-07-11T17:39:00.000-04:00

I $#$^&*&*(&()*()*()_*()**(&*(^&*^^%^&%^&$%$##%$#$#@!@#^%$%&*^&*^&&)__)*()&*(^&*(^%^%^&%$&%$^&%$%%LOVE*&(*(&&*&*&*^%^%$^$)*(+)_()_()_&*(^&*^&*^%^&%^&%^&%^&%^&^&^&*(^&&*(^&*(^&*^&*(^&*(^&*(&&*(*()PUPPIES.

Wake Up

2005-07-08T09:05:00.000-04:00

7.5.2005
White, Christian Males are the only creatures that matter. Those fucking Arabs wanna bomb everyone. Look at ‘em. Terrorists, every one. Same with the Black folks. Oh yeah, they’re all a bunch of gangsters. And the Indians? Oh shit, yeah. People shouldn’t feel sorry for them at all. They’ve got all the casinos. Shit, every single Indian in this country is richer than we are and oughta stop their goddam crying. They’re taking advantage of the system and they fucking know it. Of course they are. Look at ‘em. Drunk bastards. Drunk, stealing, filthy pigs. They’re obnoxious. Don’t even get me started on the Jews, Hindus, Buddhists or anyone else. Why can’t we all just get along? Abide by the same rules put forth by our lord and saviour Jesus Christ? Everyone who reads knows the answers to all of life’s questions are in the bible. That’s it. End of discussion. Damn, is it really that hard, people? Never mind the fact that truly the other religions in this world that are most prevalent - Judaism and Islam - are descended from the same teachings as those of “Christ”. Never mind that terrorists look like anyone you may encounter on a daily basis - we’re all suspect , really - and not just Islamic folks. Never mind that they pray to the same God we do. Never mind that we founded this country to get away from oppression and religious persecution - and since we came her we’ve been exacting that same type of negative behavior on everyone who disagrees in the slightest with what we think, teach and execute. Never mind that we stole the very country we’re living in - the alleged “Greatest Country In The World” - from the folks who’d been living here for hundreds if not thousands of years before us. We can’t possibly be asked to hearken back to that and feel bad for what our forefathers have done. Slavery? In the past. We’re all equal now. Long as everyone knows their place. God Bless The USA. Okay - WAKE UP, tongue is out of cheek. If you couldn't see through that tripe above, then you don't deserve to be breathing the same air as me - because you're probably in agreement with the FICTION above. Now let me give you the real news. FUCK YOU YOU INTOLERANT, RACIST, REDNECK, HILLBILLY, BIBLE THUMPING MOTHERFUCKERS. Try picking up a book instead of a brew you lazy, docile pig. Try learning about the world around you outside of what Jerry Springer tells you. Try meeting people and digging them BECAUSE they’re different and not HATING them for the very same reason. Stop for a minute and think. Just fucking think. What would this world really be like if everyone were more like you? Put it this way, there simply isn’t enough Pabst Blue Ribbon to go ‘round if that were the case. You idiot. You fucking retarded, non reading cattle. Hate yourself if you’re going to hate anyone. Hate yourself and the scum that bore you and didn’t have the decency or taste to teach you about tolerance. See what you do to me? By your very nature and what you exude… you make me that which I constantly rail against. You are destroying me little by little… but you won’t kill me. You won’t last nearly as long as I. You’ll be weeded out. The Evolution Revolution will leave you behind to suffer slowly. Enjoy it, you piece of shit. Here… I’ll make it easier for you. You want fireworks to celebrate this “holiday”. Try this. Wrap yourself in your flag, jump in a tub full of kerosene. Marinate for an hour. And wait. I’ll be right over with a box of matches. It’ll all be relatively painless. It's better for us all if any and all intolerance are directed at you and your actions.

Sick... And Tired.

2005-07-01T09:17:00.000-04:00

7.1.2005
You know that feeling you get when you’re suffering from dehydration or some other kind of inner war on your body? The chills. The cramps. The dry mouth. Loss of appetite. I feel like that all the time. I’m coming to the conclusion that my overall paranoia about life in general is probably the cause. Always worried. Always nervous. Not about my actions, but the actions of the beings all around me. Recycling the same air as all of them. Good, bad and otherwise. Mostly the latter two. Perhaps the feelings are wrought on by my cognizance of truth… that the other shoe is going to fall… maybe not now, maybe not later… but eventually. It’s called balance. Karma. Chi. Whatever. The universe needs it to continue to provide.

Breakfast Is For Sissies

2005-06-29T10:15:00.000-04:00

6.29.2005
Good morning. 7am Eastern.

1) Appetizer: Coffee, Black, Decaf, 8 cups; Queens Of The Stone Age - "R"
2) Breakfast: Danish (okay, okay... a piece of dry toast... fuck you... ;)); The Cult - "Pure Cult"
3) Brunch: 6 oreos (top part of the cookie sandwich first, scrape the cream with bottom teeth, chew, finish off the top of the cookie...); Ben Folds - "Ben Folds Live"
Mmmmmmmmmmm...tasty!
By the by, next time you think you've got it rough... try watching your son digging the Ben Folds Live CD while driving around the town, asking what each song is about from the opener "One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces" to "Brick". Oh yeah. That one’s a toughie. Got through it though. Lived it, as far as that goes. Great disc by the way.
So, too, is pretty much anything by Queens Of The Stone Age. Pure straight ahead Rock? Check. Pick one. Any one. Live it, love it. Just don't buy it from Meijer or Wal Mart. Got mine at Media Play and thought I was safe... til I realized that my "Songs For The Deaf" was the "edited version." SHITFUCKPISS.
Alright.
That's enough.
Back to the grind with the rest of the docile masses.
Moo.

Baa Baa Baaaaaaaad Idea

2005-06-26T10:16:00.000-04:00

6.26.2005
Lest you think that my recent quest has turned me into a peacenik, complacent freak… let me be the first to POP that bubble. Truth be told, I still hate you. I may have temporarily forgotten just how much, but, no, it’s still there. See, your gross incompetence in terms of just TRYING hard enough is terrible. Your inability to rise above the cattle prods at your ass, drives me crazy. You’re never going to evolve. You’re going to spend eternity wallowing in your own shit. You’re dumb. You’re stupid. You have no self esteem and you make no bones about it. I see you out there working it. Fighting fires with a smoke between your lips. Having your post-church social church social in the middle of the aisle of the grocery store. Backing up poor folks like me for miles. You sag. You slink. You move with all the speed of a Giant Tortoise. You have no cognizance of those around you. You invade space. You don’t leave well enough alone. You mow your lawn in extreme heat or extreme rains. You walk in the middle of the street. You show no respect to people around you as you stare off into space and just about get run over. You’d rather sleepwalk your way through life. Just ignore everyone. They’ll all go away, and so will your problems. News flash. They don’t, and they won’t. So get over it. Get a fucking clue. Get a fucking life. Start giving a shit. Echoes of your own complacency will be your death rattle. Music to my ears. One less to worry about along the way. I hope it lulls you to a peaceful sleep. We can use what’s left for sustenance and fuel.

Climb Aboard...If You Can Stomach It

2005-06-25T10:17:00.000-04:00

6.25.2005
Join me. Or don’t. Your choice. Don’t waste my time if you don’t come with an open mind and an open heart. You must be willing to experience life in a realm that is not available to the docile masses. Not available AT ALL to those who refuse to dream…of peace and harmony within - and without. You must be willing to look deep inside of your self, past your physical and mental limitations and just let go. Let go of everything you think you know…and discover those things that you DO know, but that you haven’t allowed yourself to experience. It’s all there. If you know where to look. To realize that we all need to take care of what is in our hearts. To make it as pure as possible within. Only then can we help to guide others towards us. Give the mainstream a miss…and you’ll see us. Me, and the 1, 2, 6, 17, possibly 30 folks that are in tune enough with our truth to exist on this plane. Join US. Let’s make our own circle of life. A circle built upon peace, love, respect and honor. You know, the basics. The TRUTH. The values upon which any truly great civilization must build around. Soon, our circle may start to droop around the perimeter…kind of like the inverse of a suction cup. Folks may start to cling for life around the outside. Those who aren’t strong enough, or willing to abide by the basics. They’ll fall. The rest of us will have the strength to gather near the center of the circle. To be close to the source of existence. Whatever plane it exists upon and whatever of the myriad shapes it may take. To join together and peer into the very center of our SINGULAR consciousness, and to realize that we are all ONE. We are nature. We are the Father, the Mother, the Great Creator. We are all an equal and integral part of the future of life. We are the very things that surround us daily. We ARE life. Only the strong can lead. Only the strong can maintain. Only the strong can survive. Be strong. Live long. Nay, Live FOREVER. You will never die, if you are strong. Strong in the ways of honor, respect, love and peace. All the guns and bombs, oaths and negativity in the “mainstream” that provide ammunition for those who wield power for the purpose of repression, regression, homocide, genocide. All of this will be powerless against those who are pure of heart. Those who are strong with the Truth. We will continue on. Continue seeking those who are of similar heart and mind, to join us on this quest. This quest for truth. This quest for survival. Far too long fear has held us back. Our own fears, our own hatreds, our own intolerances. Now, is the time for those of us who have found our inner peace to share it. To accumulate. Not assimilate. To allow for REAL freedom of thinking and action. And for a truly wonderful existence. No more war. No more hatred. No more blindly following the “masses”. Look inside first. That’s the first step. Find your center. Find your truth. Then, join us. Or don’t. It’s your choice. Be strong.

Sedona, AZ

2005-06-24T10:18:00.000-04:00

6.24.2005
Recap of visit to Sedona, AZ.

Monday brought a visit to the Hopi Land (indian reservation - about 2.5 hours north of Flagstaff... 4 hours from Sedona) where I was given a beautiful gift from an elder - and the gifts of family, respect, honour and love with a simple visit. knowing that I'm welcome to visit them anytime means the world to me. being there and bringing them food and clothing and supplies and seeing the gratefulness in their eyes, just...uplifting. such a sense of peace in their tiny little home. they live within their means. extravagance might mean trying on a brand new pair of shoes that a friend might bring as a gift, or an extra load of coal for the coal/wood burning stove in the house. next time I complain about what I DON'T have, I'll think back to meeting Anita and "Old Man" and smile through my selfish tears.
Tuesday brought with it a visit to Phoenix to the Arizona Heart Hospital on the hottest day in Phoenix so far this year, and the hottest place in North America on that day. the cardiologist says that there's no surgery required and mom is fit as a fiddle. the meds are working. no ablative surgery or stopping the heart and jump starting it back, necessary. we had to make a 2 hour trip a 4 hour to avoid road blocks and forest fires. in the process, we got to see different parts of arizona that we've never seen before (Payson), the mountains, the trees, forests, green (unusual for Arizona in such heavy volume)... striking. unfortunately, in a desert climate... lots of rain would seem to be a welcome addition, right? nope. the rain brings the vegetation to life - too much of it. then, due to the extreme heat conducive to the climate in arizona... it becomes an immediate fire hazard. the very next day, in the exact same forest and mountains we had driven through...were burning. heat lightning and dry climate... not a good combo. thank goodness we were safe. wednesday comes around and we go to breakfast at "the coffee pot restaurant" which is my very favourite place EVER to have breakfast. very very good place. the dude that owns it is a former hollywood hairdresser... came here from the middle east waaaaaaaaaaaay back, and has people come to his small daytime only restaurant like clockwork. amazing food and amazing people. they know my mom and her partner by name.shortly thereafter we went on a spiritual quest/nature hike. I say this, because a native shaman/medicine man took us into a beautiful mountain valley with some of the most amazing rocks, streams, wildlife and views you've ever seen. we stopped a few times along the way to soak it in, to appreciate what Mother Earth provides. the sky, the sun, the wind, the sounds of nature. uninterrupted. he took us to a small cave. big enough for the three of us to stand in along with some pretty scary looking spiders hanging from the cave walls. we chanted. we did sounds from within in harmony in this tiny cave space that was about the size of a portable shower one might take camping. acoustics were hauntingly beautiful. there was a small overhang and a tiny hole in the top of the overhang where the sun would come directly in from the east each morning. one of his favourite meditation spots. I could completely understand why. further down the trail, we stopped at an amazing rock which, when you looked straight up, looked like a giant turtle with the head sticking out. we did a traditional drumming ceremony. meditated as the sound of the heartbeat from his drum and the rattle he was hitting it with, got our own hearts beating in tune with that of Mother Earth. surrounded us with burning sage. a cleansing ceremony. if you've never done this...you'll never understand. I don't guess many folks are open to something as traditional as this. but, it's impossible to explain the peace within during a ceremony of this nature. having dedicated a medicine wheel in a ceremony, and another very similar ceremony, I can say they are truly enlightening experiences. energy. peace. love. all in one. (and sage smells like Pot, by the by...without the side effects. ;)after the hike, we came back to the house and chilled on the last night and recapped our entire week. making my mom's partner laugh heartily at my storytelling style of the places we've been and the things we experienced. just me and mom.the flights back were uneventful. and I've been having severe withdrawals...not being able to go out on the back porch with my coffee and watch the sunrise over Thunder Mountain at 5:30am. not seeing any Red Rocks. not breathing in the mountain air. those things aren't close by physically as I type. but the memories are in my head. and my heart.

2005-06-16T10:21:00.000-04:00

6.16.2005
Dreams. 061505. But first, a quote: “A Man’s Dreams Are An Index To His Greatness.” Zadok Rabinowitz. Well, Mr. Rabinowitz, I must be really freakin’ great then. Observe. J
In the first, Holly and I go to a sort of Alternative Health “mall” for lack of a better term. We’re in a lobby surrounded by foliage, plants, flowers, high windows with sunlight streaming through from about 3 stories high. All kinds of offices make up the rest of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd floors. I’m not sure exactly why we’re there, other than to check out this doctor who claims she can see into our pasts - and - past lives. I’m skeptical to the max, and am reading some literature that has no explanation in terms of “normal” answers to the questions asked within it. The only answers on the pages are that we’ve existed many times before elsewhere throughout time, and made conscious choices to make those changes from person to person of our existence. As we get set to leave, an old friend of mine who was sitting in the lobby says “goodbye gentlemen.” I turn around and shoot him a glare and say “what are you talking about?” He says “back in the day, there was a male angel who was friends with Christ and asked him if he could please assume the role of a female. Christ granted him that wish peacefully and without hesitation. THAT’s who your wife once was…” I tell him he’s full of shit. We walk into the doctor’s office, a small closed in white room with desks full of clutter. I sit down next to Holly as she has a doctor go over some readings and charts and tells her that “have you ever heard the story of…” and she inserts the name of this angel. I’m still very skeptical and tell her she’s full of shit… then, she shows me pictures of the whole process. I remember thinking how the hell do you expect me to believe that those are REAL pictures? She just smiles and her assistant who is sitting at a desk next to me says “take a look here…”
She has a spinning photo carousel with random pictures featuring ME from all my childhood and adult life. I’m amazed that these photos are on her desk, as I know that my mom or my dad and stepmom haven’t sent her any. “Where did you get these?” She simply smiles and points to my head. I feel a strange sensation in my stomach - a combination of extreme happiness…and extreme awe. Utter confusion, really. Holly and I thank the doctors and we leave down the stairs back to the lobby. I see my old friend sitting there and I shoot him a glance and tell him he’ll not be hearing from me for a long time.

Next, I am attending a seminar by myself. At this seminar, the goal is for people to be challenged to go beyond their earthly life and/or talents and break through to achieve something they’ve wanted before they go on to their next “life”. I talk with the head of the seminar quite a bit and ask lots of questions. He suffers through them with a smile and looks at me and says “The answers are NOT going to be found by asking so many questions. The ultimate answer to your questions are all going to be centered around the fact that we exist BECAUSE WE DO.” Never satisfied with a bullshit answer like that, I sit through his seminar and challenge folks left and right during the breaks between sentences of his speech. “You can’t just exist without questioning the answers!” I’m laughed at the whole time.

In the 3rd dream I can remember, my buddy Jason (aka J Dub) came over to chill at my place. Funnily, the place was my old house from when I was 5 years old til I was 16 in DeWitt. He comes over and says hello to my dad and brother and sister who are all watching motorcycle racing on TV. He stops and checks out some of the race before he continues down the stairs to the rec room. “I didn’t know you liked motorcycles, J Dub” and he replies, “Oh, yeah. Love ‘em. I used to race ‘em all the time.” I tell him he’ll love this, and I show him a video of me in some field racing a motorcycle and doing jumps and tricks and stuff.

Finally, in the 4th dream, I’m with Holly somewhere on a date. It’s a special occasion because we’re dressed up and stuff. I tell her to check this out… and I give her a single yellow flower (probably a sunflower or something…). She looks at it longingly and really seems to love it. Then I say, “smell it…” and so she does, and when the tip of her nose touches the first petal, a bunch of tiny tiny blue flowers pop up on the petal of the yellow flower. She’s in tears at how beautiful it really is.

He's NOT. THAT. INNOCENT. But, he's also not guilty... aka OJ Redux?

2005-06-14T10:23:00.000-04:00

6.14.2005
Well, he's actually not "innocent," he's NOT GUILTY according to the jury.

Look, he had a fair trial. And one of two things happened. Either 1) he paid these folks to the one to find him not guilty across the board... or 2) they truly felt (as do I) that the prosecution didn't do a good job picking the right witnesses and put the wrong people on the stand to instantly create a worse credibility rating than Michael's. At that point, the prosecution lost. The same thing happened in OJ's trial. Too bad, really.

But, then again, I think what it boils to is that Michael was put on trial not for the 14 things he was accused of...but of being a sick bastard. Seriously. Is there anything other than that that folks are thinking of him?

All I hear is "oh, he's guilty"... blah blah blah... Well, if you're talking about sleeping with little boys in the context of cuddling...yeah...I can see your point. However, as the Rev. Jesse said... it's NOT against the law, it's only against the NORM.

Admittedly, it's not a good thing, I don't think, to have desires to cuddle with young men or women who are not your children.
But, as long as he hasn't touched them inappropriately, then he hasn't broken any laws officially. At least laws of our land…breached some sort of moral/ethical code laid down by the masses (ie: what’s “right”) then, yes.

And, really, I don't want to hear ANYMORE morons say "would YOU let YOUR child sleepover at Mike's?" Well, NO, jackass. I wouldn't let him sleep at Mike's...or John's...or Sally's...or... at the freakin’ Pope’s house people, Michael ain't Satan, the premise of someone - ANYONE - wanting to have sleepovers with kids is what's on the table here. Not him specifically.

I think the dude's got serious mental issues. I think he could use some help. I think the time for beating him up for being "different" should be done with. He's bought himself lots of press over the years, and quite honestly has been revolutionary in the music he's created at times. At this point, he's a human being, lost on the road of life. We need to help the guy find his way if he doesn't do it for himself. He's one of us, whether we like him or not.

Show Me The Way To Guantanamo Bay...

2005-06-09T10:27:00.000-04:00

We are all terrorists. Everyone of us. Don't believe what your conscience tells you. Don't dare to believe that you know what the hell you're thinking... or even capable of thinking. You've been exposed. Yes, you. The thinker. The reader. The "smarter than the average lemming" creature that you are. Don't run. Don't hide. You're being watched. You've been tagged. Marked, like one of those animals in the wilderness that the dude from "Mutual Of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" used to always have his brave manservant jump out of the jeep and tackle. You, you beast. You're capable of so much harm. You're capable of destroying the plan that's been put in place and executed relatively smoothly lo all these years of "democracy". Sure, some might call it more of a "martial law" setting, but they'll soon be eliminated, too. Just like you. There is no other alternative. You must know this. You DO know this. It's the price you pay for daring to read, learn, research, think by yourself. You're vastly outnumbered. Why fight it? Why try? Why rise up? Rise against? Just stop, let the warming sensation of the mind drainer taser do its work, and wake up to warm breezes, the smell of white cotton linens blowing in the breeze, freshly manicured grass. Fluffy bunnies and clouds surrounding you. Warm. Fuzzy
It's what you want, isn't it? Think about it. Better yet, don't. That's been done for you. Just follow along. Be like everyone else. Bend over and take it. Resistance is futile, as they say. Keep your eyes on the flag. The red and white will blend together into a nice, friendly, pink color...just like this country. Friendly and pink in color. And male. How would any other country possibly fear this country? Why would they? This country has all the answers. Answers for everything. For you. For others. For everyone. Again, resistance is futile. Why won't the other countries just give in? Can't they see things working here? Everyone is happy here. Everyone is a clone. There's nothing to fear. If they'd only follow the "democracy" that is shoved down their throats they'd be so much better off. Why is there such a fear of what this country can do? Conformity to the standards set forth by this government - worldwide - is the only ultimate solution to world peace. Get with it people! And back to you. You, little one. You, little cattle. You, docile masses. Stay far away from the internet. Stay away from books. Don't read. Don't think. Don't research. Stay close to home. Don't travel. Why fight it? Do as you're told and all will be well, young lemming. Follow, don't lead. Anyone who says otherwise will die - do you want to? Just eat what and when you're told. Figuratively and literally. Remember, you're being watched. There's nothing wrong. All is well. All is right. Everything is fine. Go back to sleep amerika. Go back to sleep. Shhhhh. It's all going to work out just perfectly. Just follow the party line. Follow the road. It's paved with extreme money, extreme hubris, extreme perfection. It's all in front of you. Follow along. Freedom awaits you. You don't want to be different. Smarter? More well informed? Knowledge is overrated. Come. Join us. Never mind, you're already here. There's a nice lemming, niiiiiiiiiice sheep. We're headed for that ridge over there. See it? Off in the distance? Keep walking the path we've made for you. You'll get there. Don't stop. Keep going. You'll know when you've arrived. Goodbye.

Memorial Day.

2005-05-30T10:41:00.000-04:00

5.30.2005
Happy Memorial Day indeed.

A day where my thoughts remain with my two Grandfathers and Great Grandfather who served in WWII and WWI respectively - two wars that are certainly a helluva lot more justifiable than the “war” on Iraq - a war on innocent lives and women and children who are completely passive and defenseless - the only ones attacking are our troops.

The “terrorists” and/or suicide bombers aren’t indicative of the entire country. So, the next time I’m in line (2 times now - same cashier, same white trash hillbilly-ette ahead of me in line flapping her gums… unfuckingbelievable…I gotta get out of Essexville more often to shop…) in a grocery store and hear someone refer to folks in Iraq as “Camel People” or “Sand People,” one of you is going to have to bail me out of Essexville County Jail…as I’ll be causing much bloodshed and ridding the world of one less alleged “woman or man of “god”” who believes that killing innocent lives, because, “after all, they’re just Camel People”. People like that make me sick - as if you hadn’t noticed - and I could definitely feel good about having one less idiot to share the same atmosphere with.

Helping to protect all of Europe and a lot of the rest of the world from Tyranny? Sure, I’d say we should’ve been there - and did a good job of helping those folks out. And I’m DAMN proud of what my grandfathers accomplished.

“Protecting our freedom in Iraq”? Hah. Freedom from what? A leader whose bark (in spite of the genocide committed against his own people) was definitely worse than his bite when it comes to hurting the U.S. What we should focus on is fighting stateside against our own Tyranny (or, throttle down some in Iraq - as WE’RE the freakin’ tyrants there… agree with me or don’t - but just know that on this…I AM CORRECT.), our own poverty, our own alleged “two party, democratically elected” system, our own jobless, health care-less. Take a cue from countries who take care of their own first…then maybe we can call ourselves a great country. How can we deign to help or take over other countries when our failures in our own homeland continue to mount, by the week, by the day, by the hour, by the minute…

When we learn to protect ourselves FROM ourselves, then maybe we can call it progress.

My freedom to write this comes from our constitution, not because young men and women are risking their lives for a tyrant who couldn’t hack time in the service and did everything he could to stay out. Who else would suck the oil out of his family’s ample money filled teats?

What a joke. Kiss my ass GWB - why don’t you and all of those who follow you jump off the nearest cliff like the lemmings you all are. When you’re out of office, we can only get better, even if we put Saddam in charge. Eat that.

Repitition Is Necessary...Repitition Is Necessary

2005-05-25T10:42:00.000-04:00

5.25.2005.3
“If the white man wants to live in peace…he can live in peace - treat all men alike. Give them all the same law. Give all an even chance to live and grow. All men were made by the same Great Spirit Chief. They are all brothers.” Chief Joseph, Nez Pearce, 1840-1904. A true hero of mine. Now ask yourself - especially if you blindly follow the “teachings” of daily life in North America - is the U.S. TRULY making a concerted effort to follow this great advice? No. They’re not. Amazing that such simple philosophy cannot find its way into the hearts and minds of the masses. Sad, really. Very, very sad.

5.25.2005.2
Repetition? Yep. There’s probably a lot of stuff on my online journal that I may repeat seemingly over and over and over and… Is that any different from the christian “values” that are repetitiously laid out before us - from the day of our birth? Is it any different from the incessant “flag worship” wrought upon us from the day we’re born? Those things are taken by “the mainstream” (whatever THAT is…) as “gospel.” Why? Why do opinions and “facts” put before us by a mostly white, christian, male government and/or media HAVE to be true? Why do the opposite feelings, facts and beliefs end up being tossed away? I’ve asked this before…and will continue to ask it until I’m given an answer. I’ll also refuse to take part in any flag worship and/or acts of malicious so called “patriotism”, when TRUE patriotism takes place in asking questions to keep the very leaders of this country in check - that is - without invoking their own religious beliefs on their constituents and/or those from other countries that may oppose those views.

5.25.2005
From a friend of mine, who recently read an email about Leonard Peltier that I wrote.

“Enlighten me more…
Do you think he had nothing to do with the murders of the two agents?
Do you think he is completely innocent?
You do you think killed them? (and please don't say Mr. X)
Have you been to http://www.noparolepeltier.com/?”

I think when we get the different websites involved - from both or all sides - we're doing the right thing. that's a wonderful site in terms of its layout. however, I don't have to agree with what is printed there. fair enough?

In issues of guilty or non guilty - playing by the rules of our court system - unfortunately, there are no "in betweens". That sucks. But, like our current "democracy" - there are truly only 2 choices when it comes down to brass tacks. Because of this, I suppose we disagree. I also have no answers and will not drop to the level of suggesting that a "Mr. X" is the guilty party. I believe the comments attributed to Peltier regarding this person over the years have been read as they want to be read and printed as the printer wants them printed. Kind of like the "news" that is allegedly true in our mainstream media nowadays.

This to me is yet another miscarriage of justice against one individual who happens to be a Native American person. It’s become high profile because of nationality and the press the case has received. It’s only a smart part however, truly, of the overall crimes against these people.

Native American history to me represents pride, dignity, strength and honor. Considering that our current land mass was occupied by millions of Native Americans before Columbus (no hero of mine, thank you very much... all one needs to do is read some accounts from his own people about what a fool he was to work with...) et al decided that taking the land from, enslaving, killing, etc... the Natives was the only way to "liberate" our land and "freedom", and yet continue to fight for "our freedom" umm...overseas...I'm not too trusting of our system and its ability to "work". Then again, the rules keep changing.

Just like the hundreds of alleged "terrorists" locked up in Guantanamo - some without the ability to contact family or lawyers - under U.S. "jurisdiction", there are plenty of folks here stateside that are also locked up with no forensic or otherwise credible evidence that are indeed the responsible party for the harm or death of the victim(s) involved in their "case".

Do we live in the greatest country in the world? I can't answer that. Do I enjoy freedom? Sure. By its very definition. But not by the definitions imposed upon it by our government. Their interpretation - in my opinion - is terribly skewed. Freedom is all encompassing - it is NOT "when it's convenient for U.S. people".

Before it's asked, I DO NOT believe in terrorists or anyone who wants to kill for seemingly no reason - hell, I don't believe in killing for ANY reason (and that includes the "death penalty"). I do believe in protecting ourselves. But I also think that a military presence has become necessary to our country - because we created its importance.

Aside from what's reported in the "media", there are plenty of countries in the world that live peacefully, prosperously and happily, by themselves without bothering anyone. It's possible.

When we stop terrorizing the world - and in some cases our own people (whether physically or mentally - images of "patriotism" being force fed to us daily) - only then, can we experience true safety, and freedom.

Back to Mr. Peltier. He's wrongfully imprisoned - in my opinion. Just like the West Memphis 3 (www.wm3.org). And countless others. Our system may work - at times - but not all the time. And it's wrong, and grossly irresponsible to ignore or cast aside the importance of looking on both sides of the fence and uncovering ALL possibilities in EVERY SINGLE case. Unfortunately, that's what's happened to Leonard Peltier and the WM3 for a couple of examples.

We spend far too much time talking about what's right with our country, than what is wrong with it. Not to be negative, but dammit, if we're gonna be truly "patriotic" we sure as hell better question things that aren't right with our system.

That's it.

I'm Soooooooooo Dreamy

2005-05-24T10:49:00.000-04:00

5.24.2005
dreams from last night.

- spent a great deal of time zoning in and out all night last night, but kept going back to this “world” which was the same as the one we currently live in (at least it appeared to be), except people were walking around beating each other and shooting each other and laughing it off. We were all indestructible, and had sectioned bodies, with our middles sort of floating in between our upper and lower torsos.
- Was driving on a very icy road with Timmy and Emilie and all I could think of was to get them where we going safely.
- Was helping my dad put something together and he was letting me do some of the work.
- Was with Holly in England and there was this woman below us on a lower level sidewalk as we walked along above. She was telling people who passed her by to guess her weight and she’d give them some big dollars. Holly and I each tossed down a guess and she said no way, not even close but threw some American dimes at us anyway. We were giggling, but I couldn’t help myself. I walked back and said “379”? and she looked at me in shock and said “how’d you KNOW that?” We then proceeded to talk about how she’d had a baby and was unable to get rid of the excess weight. I told her something like “well, you’re taking the right steps by walking today…good luck.”
- I was being held hostage by a woman with a gun, in my own apartment. Didn’t know what to do, so I picked up the cordless and lifted it to my ear and said “Damn. The line’s dead anyway…” She laughed and didn’t realize that I’d actually dialed 911 and left the phone on the couch where everything going on in the house could be heard on the other end of the line.

My son Timothy...

2005-05-23T10:50:00.000-04:00

5.23.2005
“If everyone in the world was nice to each other, we wouldn’t have wars.” Timothy S. Goff

Random Dreams, From A Random Guy

2005-05-21T10:51:00.000-04:00

5.21.2005
Some random memories from random dreams last night - again.

- was working at my desk when a spider the size of my thumb dropped from the ceiling with a plop on the printer paper
- was late for work and my boss - Tony Bruno (the sports radio personality) - told me that my punishment would be to spend half of the day watching some video on sexual harrasment. A video that I’d already watched as was required of all employees. I was to go to a private room and watch it. Meanwhile, the NASCAR team I drove for was without a driver for the race which was taking place. I didn’t call them or inform them that I was not coming. I was in this private room - watching the NASCAR race that I was supposed to be at - and Eminem walked in. I talked with him for a bit and explained how crappy this situation was. Then, we talked about the albums we were releasing and the duet we had just done. I tried to call my race team to tell them where I was, but couldn’t get through since it was a weekend and I only dialed the shop number and not anyone’s personal cell number.
- I’m on a bus, looking up boxscores on my cell phone, not sure where I was headed. The guy next to me said he just HAD to know who was winning the basketball game. Would I please look it up?
- In a car, separated from my mom, kids and Holly as we’re all headed for Disney World. I made a few turns and phone calls for directions, and ended up right at the entrance I needed. I walked (with my bike for whatever reason) across the sidewalk to the entrance. Was told to leave my bike parked by either the Democrat or Republican Amigo Scooters which were chained to the wall across the entrance room next to a pop machine. There were 4 old guys in the room shooting the bull and one of ‘em said don’t leave it parked next to the Democrat one, as it’ll get stolen. Much laughter ensued. Then I walked up to the counter and said “the same could be said for the Republican one”. More laughter. Then, I called Holly and told her where I was so everyone could meet me in the same place. After I hung up, I looked up at the name of the entrance and it said “Emergency Entrance”.

I gotta stop drinking coffee...

2005-05-19T10:52:00.000-04:00

5.19.2005
Some random memories from random dreams last night (no alcohol before bed, but I DID watch the first half of “Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind” so maybe that was the source of the mind fuck…Damn you Charlie Kaufman! DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!”

- accompanied Timmy and his class on a field trip…literally. Out in a field somewhere. There were highway workers with “spud guns” and they were randomly shooting down birds - first a hawk, then an eagle, then a crow, then a… well, you get the picture. Very surreal. The kids had slingshots, and were aiming off in the other direction shooting at birds as well. Strange.
- Was doing a live broadcast for a radio station at a clothing store. Found a really cool Navy Blue subtely striped banded collar button up shirt for $3.98. Not bad. Was going to add it to the shopping cart after the broadcast.
- Had a very deep conversation with one of my ex-girlfriends in the same store. It was a good conversation, but full of tension - of all sorts.
- Met Ron Hornaday (NASCAR driver) and found one of his die cast trucks outside of the store I was broadcasting from.

Free Leonard Peltier

2005-05-18T10:54:00.000-04:00

5.18.2005
Have been reading “Prison Writings” and recording it as well, chapter by chapter. My hope is to get all 242 or so pages recorded, and send them on a CD to Leonard and/or his people. Maybe there’s a way to raise some money for his defense fund by putting it up for sale on his website. I don’t know. I’m just compelled to help. Should do the same for the WM3. The book written by Mara Leveritt is insanely good - and served its purpose of getting me pissed off even further at the “bible belt politics” that run with all their inherent idiosyncratic reasoning through the hills and trailer parks all across the south. Idiots. There’s only 4 people there that I mention that have felt the wrath of our alleged “justice” system. I’m certain there’s many many more. I’ve chosen the 4 of them so far, and am sure I’ll come across more. I just wish I could do something to help. My passion, my inspiration to make a change for them to get their voices hear d to a society - even amongst those in my circle - that simply doesn’t care much (or seem to in general anyway) is eternally frustrating.

System Of A Down... Blowing You Away

2005-05-17T10:54:00.000-04:00

5.17.2005
New System Of A Down CD comes out today. In honor of that, I present an excerpt from the lyrics to “Boom” - a song that will fall on so many deaf ears and/or never be heard by the folks who REALLY SHOULD HEAR IT. Are you listening George W and Friends? You corporate motherfuckers.

Modern globalization
Coupled with condemnations
Unnecessary death
Matador corporations
Puppeting your frustrations with a blinded flag
Manufacturing consent is the name of the game
The bottom line is money nobody gives a fuck

4000 hungry children
Leave us per hour from starvation
While billions are spent on bombs
Creating death showers

Boom, Boom, Boom,
Every time you drop a bomb
You kill the god your child has born…

5.17.2005.2
Trying to come up with a way of expressing one of my beliefs, I rolled this off at 2am a few night s ago - and was surprised to see that a true hero of mine - Leonard Peltier - expressed something similar in his book “Prison Writings” that his elders taught him. Peep this though:
“100 % ‘perfection’ or ‘absolution’ is unattainable and impossible for us to comprehend, much less achieve. Part of the reason for this is that we cannot possibly know what the true realized ‘value’ of absolution is. It’s our job as living creatures of the Creator’s Earth to seek answers within ourselves though, which will lead us to results as close to our perceived ‘perfect solutions’ for any given situation. Mathematics are not part of the spiritual enlightenment chain (ie: 1+1=2 as a sampling of ‘absolution’) that we seek. For all numbers can be modified to give us ‘answers’ which we desire to be truthful. To that end, we can create convenient absolutes, which in the end oft times cheat ourselves. While we’re in this realm, however, we must use the common sense and answers which have been “factory installed” in our very beings by the Creator - not by any alleged words of “god” in the various “good books” of the various religions. We must attempt to gain knowledge from a myriad of sources available to us - not one specific source, but many. In this way, if we’re truly honest with ourselves, we’ll learn each side to every equation and/or conundrum which presents itself to us.

Dude... Find Some Books And READ

2005-05-15T10:55:00.000-04:00

5.15.2005
If you can’t talk intelligently about what it is you feel, then don’t bother conversing with me. Start giving a shit. Giving enough of a shit to learn, listen, read, explore something outside of your comfort zone - or pen as it were. Stop being complacent. START asking questions. DON’T get in my way. If you wanna ride along, bring a pen and paper and good music and books. It’s a long journey. If you don’t wanna ride, stay off the track.

Freedom Under The Government's Oppressive Genocidal Blanket?

2005-05-14T10:56:00.000-04:00

5.14.2005
Can you HONESTLY look yourself in the mirror and BELIEVE what you’re saying, when you say you “feel much safer and secure since Bush came into office and invaded Iraq and Afghanistan.”? You’re intelligent, right? You tie your own shoes, dress yourself in the morning, THINK for yourself. All of the above…right?
Then how could you possibly answer “yes” to the first question? You say there’s soldiers - YOUNG men and women oft times - giving their lives to protect us…and our freedoms. Possibly. If they were HERE. If those poor soldiers were doing their jobs HERE. NOT blowing people up - nowadays in self defense in many cases - in a country that doesn’t want us there. Iraq, Afghanistan, wherever. No one ordained us to be the protector - OR the bully - that we fancy ourselves to be. Why should we infer that our way is “the best way”? Instilling United States Democracy into a country that has never known the goods and bads of the system we have in place - not a good idea. Yet, we continue on. Apparently feeling a huge sense of pride in what we’re doing, in spit of the myriad deaths that have left blood on our hands. We’re not perfect. We’ve got domestic issues that continue to be grossly ignored - homelessness, joblessness being just two. You say we’re fortunate to live here, because we’ve diversified our interests domestically and abroad to ensure that if the oil ever gets less abundant, we’ll be okay. Several hundred years will take place before we “run out”, chief. Do we TRULY have the “greatest country in the world” because we have the right to protest, to question authority, to rise up and say “HELL NO”? In theory…yes. In reality…nope. If it were true, why would anyone not agreeing with the present state of affairs and/or the administration and corporate puppets that run everything in our country, be ostracized or frowned upon as Un American or not democratic enough? It’s not about seeing who can be quiet the longest. It’s about who can raise their voice to be heard above the braying of the docile masses and try to increase awareness and knowledge. THAT’s what a TRULY GREAT nation would employ as standard. WE don’t…so…do the math. “If you don’t like it, why don’t you move?” It’s not a bad idea, really. Despite what people “in the know” tell you, America might NOT be the best and most stable country to live in. Make fun of Canadians all you want, but if you really want to see a country close by that has their shit together, look north, my friends. I don’t want to move…too many family and friends to leave behind. Too much to see in terms of what the great spirit created for us all to enjoy…to respect…to honor. Too much of that to do before I decide to leave it all behind. Yes, I love this country. I love the fact that I can freely type without anyone (at least until I get the first Patriot Act Puppet at my door…) ordering me to stop. However, the ability that I have to freely create, express, engage - has nothing to do with our military junta in Iraq or Afghanistan. So, don’t hand me your red, white and blue, RAH RAH propaganda - or I’ll wipe with it and hand it back to you. Start asking questions and going beneath the surface of what you see, hear and are told. Be like…me. I’m not perfect, but I’m also not a lemming. Go ahead and jump if you’re not willing to explore other options aside what comes easiest to you and goes down with the sugar coated taste of money. I’m getting rather used to choking on the IPECAC of Truth and what’s really happening. Quite frankly, if you’re not willing to swallow your share, I’d rather wait til we’re both pushing up the daisies in a couple of hundred of years to continue any discussions with you.

Left Wing Lock

2005-05-11T10:57:00.000-04:00

5.11.2005
Knowing how well I’ve done choosing those that I have allowed into my life, I often wonder what “they really think.” Am I some kind of whacko commie leftist? Am I to be ignored? Am I to be occasionally laughed at and “oh that’s just Steve being silly again”-d? It’s strange. I can count on one hand (perhaps 2 - but not likely) the friends I have who truly are willing to listen to what I have to say. Frustrating, really. Friends - and I’m certain some family somewhere - who are Right Wing all the way. I hate to get caught up in generalization and/or attaching signs to folks, but Right Wing and Liberal seem to be the easiest for folks to equate to what I’m against and what I’m about, respectively. It puts me into deep depression when I even get an email jokingly putting down a comment I might make in passing. Just knowing that MY comment (most likely leaning to “the left”) was well thought out, researched, not just tossed out there. The M.O. of “the right” seems to be to just toss aside with sarcastic “wit” (if you can call it that) or malicious venom (most likely off the cuff and without a backbone of fact) because they’re intent on “toeing the party line” of their beliefs no matter what. No room for argument really. Arguing or debating takes two sides. In a perfect world, with both having an equal chance to expound. That ain’t the way it works, though, jack. No, “the right” will take the road of “what I say is correct, BECAUSE I say it…” Twisted, really. Interestingly, it seems to me that the folks who debate well, are from “the left”. They have facts, figures, information and not innuendo to fuel their fires. They’ll take the time to listen to their “opponent” and accept it as their opinion, but then, give back in the game of give and take, with a retort featuring information that they’ve culled from their resources and want to share. The problem? You cannot give a “right winger” any of that, because they won’t take it. Ask a right wing supporter WHY they believe the things they do. Keep a single line on your 30 line sheet of paper available for their response. RARELY has a right wing person given me a solid, TRUE reason to support what they support. Ask a liberal, a democrat or a “leftist” why they support what they do - and they’ll give it to you. Why is there so much ammo on the “left” and not the “right?” Is it because most mainstream sources of information and/or media are taking what they’re told to say and making it palatable for the docile masses to consume? You’re goddamn right. I’m guilty of it from time to time as well. I shop at Malls when I don’t have a choice. Go to fast food places on occasion. I’m not trying to say I’m perfect. I’m not trying to be pious. I DO feel great pangs of guilt when I “resort” or “stoop down to” the levels of mainstream consumerism. But what’s truly sad to me, is that so many folks - including many of my friends and business associates - are willing to just “take it,” except is as “part of life.” Why? Why DO you support our current Government? President? Why be content without voicing concern? Why “love it or leave it” as many feel? What is patriotic about NOT questioning what we’re doing or what affect it’s having on us or our future - especially our children. Is it because it’s easier? Is it because folks TRULY feel that our country is the best - more than likely because that’s the rhetoric they’ve been taught their whole life? To Pledge Allegiance - just because to not do so would cause ridicule? I fear for my kids’ futures in a society of such complacency. It hurts. It hurts me deeply and badly to know I’m fighting this fight with such intensity - and doing it mostly alone. Folks just don’t care. They’re content to be lemmings. To be comfortable. I’m not. And for that, I risk ridicule from my peers, I risk being pointed out, ostracized, perhaps even looked at as if I’ve lost my mind. Wrestling with this isn’t easy. Forcing myself to toe the OTHER line is what needs to be done - and to do so without worry or care what others may think. It’s not easy, but it’s who I am. I refuse to be beat up - without at least protesting against those doing the beating. I sure wish more folks - especially those within my close personal or business proximity would join me.

Timothy S. Goff As...Carl Sagan. Bob Dylan As...GOD.

2005-05-10T10:59:00.000-04:00

5.10.2005.2
From Timmy: “Daddy. When did time start?” I couldn’t answer. I was too busy choking back tears and trying to figure out WWCSD (what would Carl Sagan Do…)

5.10.2005.3
This goes out to the “powers that be”. Eat it.

Bob Dylan “Masters of War”
Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build the big bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks

You that never done nothin'
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it's your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly

Like Judas of old
You lie and deceive
A world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain

You fasten the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you set back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion
As young people's blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud

You've thrown the worst fear
That can ever be hurled
Fear to bring children
Into the world
For threatening my baby
Unborn and unnamed
You ain't worth the blood
That runs in your veins

How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I'm young
You might say I'm unlearned
But there's one thing I know
Though I'm younger than you
Even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul

And I hope that you die
And your death'll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I'll watch while you're lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I'll stand o'er your grave
'Til I'm sure that you're dead

Calm Down, Put Away The Bible...

2005-05-10T07:58:00.000-04:00

5.10.2005
Let me say first that I respect folks who are dedicated to their religions whole heartedly. I think it's great. In a world (or, more appropriately, NATION) that hasn't left us with a whole lot to make us feel "comfort," those who believe in their creators always can come back to that.

The thing is, there's no "book" ("good" or otherwise...) that is going to be a definitive source for all things.

It's not just Christianity that I feel has flaws, it's other religions like Mormon, Muslim, etc... there really isn't a singular source for "what is right" in my opinion. Your way of thinking seems to be that the christian bible is 'bout as good as it gets. Cool. I would advise you of the mass similarities - aside from some verbiage/language barriers. If you've spent time with the Kuran/Koran/Quran (depends on what part of the world you live in to obtain the spelling) or studying what makes the folks who are Muslim tick, you might be surprised to find that they too believe in GOD, that they're a peace loving people. Much like what the picture of a true Christian is painted to be.

It's the extremists that ruin it for everyone. The extremists and the spin system in place that keeps them going - and arguably perpetuates their continuance and growth. Ask a typical man or woman off the streets of mainstream Amerika, and I'm very certain you'll find that they have not the first clue of how true Muslim religion works. That NOT ALL Muslims are planning on flying planes into the WTC again... See, the gross incompetence/catering to the rich/sociopolitical "leaders" of our country, perpetuates hatred on a mass scale. Interestingly, most of the folks "in charge" here in the states practice some religion other than Muslim or Buddhism or Atheism or... When the "powers that be" are predominantly "home grown" and White, Christian, Male...it's got to be pretty easy to create not only hatred, but negative propaganda (ie: "fair and balanced" news sources in the mainstream media, advertising, consumerism, etc...) which perpepuates its very existence.

Are we by nature a negative country? Absolutely. Are we the most feared country worldwide? You bet. Are the docile masses in this country willing to go along with it because the Red White & Blue (of either the flag or the Pabst Can, time will tell what really decides...sarcasm there...stay with me...) says so? OH HELL YEAH!!!

Sigh.

So where does the role of Christianity come in to play in all this? The fact that Christians seem to feel as well, that the Bible is the definitive source for all things "right". It can't be. Regardless of how wholesome it may be, there are two sides to every story. I've seen selected bible quotes before. Touting what would jc do... what has god ordained... etc... What's interesting is that the other side of the argument is never presented. Would the Christian god advise us to truly follow "an eye for an eye"? Is that what our civilization should be? Killing people for crimes, killing people for revenge for accidental occurences? Wow. There's a reason why I can't get down. Death Penalty advocates? Mostly Christian. Who are we to take a life from someone just because they've done so. A lifetime of contemplation, perhaps even in solitary confinement for long periods of time? Sure. Getting help for these same "criminals"? Absolutely and without a doubt. Forgiveness. Not SELECTIVELY so, either. Christians are supposed to "forgive" because ol' JC died for our sins. Right? Yet, how can murdering someone who has already murdered be "right"?

The bible also tends to read at times like a New York Times Fiction (appropriately so?) Bestseller: replete with chapters of incest, rape, murder, bigotry, hatred, polygamy. It's all there. From Genesis to Deuteronomy and all points after and between. I know, I know. I'm "picking" on the bible and/or Christianity. The thing is, it's important to see all sides of ANY compelling (or even not so) argument, story, religion. The PROBLEM lies in the search for something to cling to as definitive without making the "something" EARN its place as such. How many so called Christians these days go to the bar on Saturday night, flirt or shack up with someone other than their spouse; cuss and swear (blasphemers!!) and take "the lord's name in vain" all week long, only to go to church on Sunday morning (or Saturday night BEFORE "the debauchery" takes place ;)) and make it all better by injecting an hour's worth of guilt and apology?

Even our "founding fathers" and "great" men like Thomas Jefferson and George Washington (admittedly, slave owners and adulterers...) have put forth quotes about how religion (in their cases Christianity) ends up being more of a hindrance to the evolution of society. Here's a few of my favorites that a close friend and “brother" of mine has shown me recently:

George Washington:

"Religious controversies are always productive of more acrimony and irreconcilable hatreds than those which spring from any other cause. Of all the animosities which have existed among mankind, those which are caused by the difference of sentiments in religion appear to be the most inveterate and distressing, and ought most to be depreciated. I was in hopes that the enlightened and liberal policy, which has marked the present age, would at least have reconciled Christians of every denomination so far that we should never again see the religious disputes carried to such a pitch as to endanger the peace of society."
- letter to Edward Newenham, 1792

Thomas Jefferson:

"Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced an inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one half the world fools, and the other half hypocrites. To support roguery and error all over the earth." - "Notes on Virginia"

"On the dogmas of religion, as distinguished from moral principles, all mankind, from the beginning of the world to this day, have been quarreling, fighting, burning and torturing one another, for abstractions unintelligible to themselves and to all others, and absolutely beyond the comprehension of the human mind."
- to Carey, 1816

"... I am not afraid of priests. They have tried upon me all their various batteries of pious whining, hypocritical canting, lying and slandering. I have contemplated their order from the Magi of the East to the Saints of the West and I have found no difference of character, but of more or less caution, in proportion to their information or ignorance on whom their interested duperies were to be played off. Their sway in New England is indeed formidable. No mind beyond mediocrity dares there to develop itself."
- letter to Horatio Spofford, 1816

There have been bloody Christian crusades, there was much Native American blood shed during the "founding" of this country. What of those folks? "Savages" because they were a nature loving, contented people who were quite literally raped and pillaged as the almighty dollar reared its head even early on disguised as a break from "tyranny" (religious and social) put forth by The King? Sound familiar?

Christianity, Islam, Mormon. ANY religion that "allows" or at least "advises" the use of force to coerce folks to the "right" way of thinking is not without fault. That's not to say that all who follow these religions - or even the texts which have been accepted to comprise the teachings - are totally wrong. There are certainly aspects that seem to fall in line with anyone with half a brain or sense of love of life in their being.

When I referred to common sense, I was opening up the opportunity to bury myself. Talking as much as I do about "no absolutes", one might say to me, "how can there exist a TRUE Common Sense based on your way of thinking?" I would say "Touche." But also, admit that there ISN'T. However, whomever/however created we were/are there is a true in-grained sense of treating our fellow man, animal, plant, air, water (have I missed anything?) with the utmost respect. I'm not advocating any religion or theology as being better than any other. Period. The one that makes the most sense TO ME... Is a simple "Native American Code Of Ethics" which states, in a nutshell, to respect and HONOR LIFE. A basic example: if you kill a plant for food...say a quick thank you to it for helping you and your body and your health - and that of your family - to continue. I would daresay that most folks would deign that to be "extreme" or at the very least "semi-retarded" and pass it off with a chuckle. I wouldn't. I'd respect it. I think it's perfect - or at least as close to it as possible.

I believe that there is a creator of our existence. I also believe that if it's preordained that we are to believe (no matter what our "affiliation") that our creator is a sort of mirror image of ourselves, that IMPERFECTIONS do exist. The Creator to me represents a power that put us here to do good, to learn, to educate, to explore not just within - but ESPECIALLY OUT OF our comfort zones. To learn about those we disagree with. To love everyone regardless of their attitudes and beliefs.
To that end, am I sometimes angry at the world around me? You're fucking right. But, what may be construed as "anger" is most likely frustration to the max of watching folks exist in a sea of complacency. I'm not down with that.

As I continue to live and laugh and love in this world, attempting to steer through the propaganda that permeates our daily existence from television, radio, movie screens, etc, I find it difficult to rise above at times. But, I will at the very least make every effort to keep open the minds of my family, friends and especially my children. To follow my beliefs - not ordained by any religious propaganda or writing - but by the work I put forth into exploring, researching, questioning, reasoning. Offering MPVS (My Personal Value System) to those closest to me. Not expecting anything other than a quick listen. That's all.

Without absolutes. Without a "right" or a "wrong". Just Common Sense.

I'm A Cop? Ha! Yeah. Right.

2005-05-09T11:01:00.000-04:00

5.9.2005
Dream last night: Yours truly is an undercover cop. in this large large office building with a huge open foyer and spiral staircases leading up to lots of individual offices and rooms on the upper floors...tv monitors and things all over the lobby and foyer... very clean surroundings, very busy, very high tech...splashes of color all around, but still relatively sterile. until - soft! what light yonder breaks! a gunshot rings out, and a thug has a young lady in a rear headlock and is dragging her up one of the spiral staircases and reigning shots down with his pistol while using the young woman as a human shield. I race up the staircase, my pistol brandished and fitting in the cradle of my palm like a familiar handshake in my right hand. I have a clean shot between a few of the metal slats on the guard rail near one of the stops on the staircase and nail the assailant in the leg, and when I catch up, proceed to pump the rest of the 5 shots into the dude's chest. The woman runs away. The medics come and get the dude and take him away. I go to an office a few flights up and "check in" for some paperwork. There's all these individual cubicles with these nice middle aged attractively dressed ladies in various states of work and/or gossip. Laughing and joking with me as I fill out whatever necessary paperwork I'm being asked to fill out (not even sure if it's because of what just happened). Then, I leave and go down to the lobby again and there's some folks huddled around a monitor watching some training video or something and an old friend/classmate of mine that I haven't seen in 16 years does the old buddy right hand around my collarbone thing and is like "how ya doin' man? I remember my first one...it's a tough thing to get through but you'll be okay..."

That's all I remember.

I know I hate guns. Can't imagine using one to shoot a person at all. Weird. Oh, yeah. Or, being a cop.

So I looked this up on my Dream Interpretation Page A Day Calendar from a few weeks ago

"For Freud and company, guns are phallic images (yeaah baby!), signs of potency and strength. Other interpreters are struggle or a threatening confrontation in your waking life. Gunslingers have an unfair advantage (is it my charm? my good looks? my potency?... not a chance :)) Who has more might than right in your waking life? But no matter who's holding the gun, your anger built the dream, so it's probably smart to explore your violent feelings by day"

Thank goodness for the 70 pound heavy bag here not too far from my office…

Like Riding A Bike

2005-05-08T11:01:00.000-04:00

5.8.2005
Today was one of the very best days of my life as both of my kids took a big step forward in learning how to ride their respective bikes. Timmy's been a little apprehensive (to say the least) about riding his bike sans training wheels. Yesterday, I took 'em off and said, "it's time bud." He was not even reluctant, we went to the sidewalk, I held onto the seat, gave him a quick push and off he went. 7 hours (and a new, relatively slick lookin' $30 Huffy bike from Wal Mart) later, he finally stopped riding. Meanwhile, Emilie has been more content to just ride her bike by "walking" and sitting on the bike seat. She started pedaling and didn't stop either. Then, she took the wheel in Timmy's Mini Jeep and followed her brother around the block - with daddy panting and sweating behind trying to keep up.

Crazy days. Wake up, they're 3.5 and almost 7, go to sleep and they're like 25 and 28... :)

100% Pure LOGIC From A 6 Year Old... How 'Bout That?

2005-05-07T11:02:00.000-04:00

5.7.2005
Quote of the day, from my SIX YEAR OLD… “Daddy, if the Government has so much money, they should SHARE it with the poor people”

Chuck Palahniuk... Literary GOD

2005-05-06T11:12:00.000-04:00

5.6.2005.2
I've told you before how great Chuck Palahniuk is. Portland, OR should be super proud of the way this man writes.

I tried to explain to Holly after reading just a few pages of the new book of his called "Haunted," how he makes you fall in love immediately with his macabre cast of characters...to love them - in spite of them... and pieces together words so well.

anyway...only 150 pages in to "Haunted" (described on the book flap as a twisted combination of The Real World and "Alive" - the movie about the survivors of that Uraguayan soccer team or whatever...) I had to put it down for a second to collect my thoughts...and to write.

You MUST purchase this book. You don't HAVE to go out and buy all of his others...like I did towards the latter half of last year - and then read them all within weeks of each other. But, you might decide to do so.

This man is the Henry Miller of this generation (and at times, does him one or two better by way of sexual tension alone). Perhaps better. Perhaps more of an Edgar Allen Poe meets F. Scott Fitzgerald. Yeah. Then again, maybe it's better to say that he's leading the way to be the Patron Literary Saint (or Devil) of The New Millenium.

The storytelling is JUST. THAT. GOOD.

If only...

2005-05-06T11:09:00.000-04:00

5.6.2005
Had a dream last night that I was at some party and the Bush cabinet was there as well. Holly was sitting right next to him at a picnic table in some grand ballroom (you know, texas/oil money style) I approach them and tell him to get away from my wife. He just sits and shakes with that dumb grin and chuckle of his, while I let him know in no uncertain terms with each step towards them how much of an asshole I really think - and know - that he is. A short 100 words spewed forth calmly, but with the delivery of Yosemite Sam… I make a lunge over the table for his throat as Secret Service start flying in from all directions. I wake up.

Kiss My Ass Bill O'Reilly... And Put Your Skirt On First You Bitch.

2005-05-04T11:13:00.000-04:00

5.4.2005
Random questions. Off the cuff answers.

FOX News: Fair & Balanced? How about Disproportionate & Unhinged?

Coaltion Of the Willing? COW? Animals who are easily prodded and led to their ultimate demise? Hmmmm…

With us or against us? Who ordained us to be the Worldwide Babysitters?

WMD’s in Iraq and/or North Korea- our business? Well, in effect, yes… but that’s another topic. Arming other countries and then trying to spin it around…kinda like that scence from “Shane” right? (credit: Bill Hicks. RIP)

Keeping ME safe? PROTECTING me from some Imagined “Boogeyman”? Last I checked, a TRUE survey of the rest of the world shows US as the most feared country on the planet. And why shouldn’t we be?

Mainstream Media is guilty of underexposing opposition or, “ghettoizing”/downsizing the protest oriented movements.

It’s not enough to complain. It’s the responsibility of any TRUE PATRIOT to “RE”search and THEN Destroy those who are uninformed. Those who choose to simply “toe the line” and follow the flag, are doing themselves and those close to them a great disservice.

It’s a fact, and a sad one at that, that the truth is out there - but relatively unavailable to the docile masses, unless they research sources that aren’t commercialized here in the U.S.

It’s easy to be a Media Bully…when you’re predominantly White Male.

Only in America can someone like Oliver North be considered a hero - AND - be given his own show.

Top 5 This!

2005-05-03T11:15:00.000-04:00

5.3.2005

Some top 5’s as of 5.3.2005

Top 5 Funniest People
1. Bill Hicks
2. David Cross
3. Ben Stiller
4. Jack Black
5. Will Ferrell

Top 5 Favorite Bands
1. The Ramones
2. The Clash
3. The Doors
4. Pearl Jam
5. The Connells

Top 5 Favorite Solo Artists
1. Henry Rollins
2. Kevn Kinney
3. Ben Folds
4. Johnny Cash
5. Lloyd Cole

Top 5 Heroes:
1. My Parents - ALL 3
2. Henry Rollins
3. Muhammad Ali
4. Steve Earle
5. Chief Joseph

Top 5 People I’d Most Like To Have Lunch With:
1. Henry Rollins
2. Chuck Palahniuk
3. John Cusack
4. Howard Zinn
5. Michael Moore

Genius At Work or Idiots At Play?

2005-04-26T11:15:00.000-04:00

4.26.2005
Notes. For now. 4.26.05 0800

1) We KNEW that Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden were admittedly ENEMIES...why did we assume that they'd be working together?
Saddam Hussein is an enemy to the interests of Bin Laden's extremist ideals...to that end, why would they?

2) Saddam Hussein is NOT a stupid person. On the contrary, he's at the least, very coy. Sociopath? Absolutely. Psychotic? Yep. Willing to "hand over the keys" to any amount of troops and/or weapons (either nuclear or otherwise) to terrorists? HELL NO. Come on. If you have an enemy, a mutual enemy that you share with another enemy of yours. Are you going to work in concert to rid yourself(yourselves) of said "3rd party"? No way.

3) As far back as 1991, Iraq was without nuclear ability - at least to the ability of doing any untold/unannounced damage to our country.

4) Iraq was never proven to have nukes. Let's assume that they did. Why should THEY or any other country in the world NOT BE ALLOWED by our hubristic bullying to have them? Are we the only country that should be allowed to have them?

5) If we do indeed have enough nukes to destroy most of the world several times over - why do we need more?

6) If Iraq really DID have nukes...why choose the date we did - POST 9/11 to attack Iraq? WHY NOT do it when Bush Jr. came into office - releasing the bile/contempt/defending his daddy that was built up behind his icy eyes?

7) This is an easy one, really, but what the hell: Why haven't we gone to Saudi Arabia to search for terrorists, since that's where the "main ones" came from originally during 9/11?

I'm A Reader... I Read. It's...What I Do.

2005-04-24T11:17:00.000-04:00

4.24.2005
Hoping to finish all of the following by year's end. Just FINALLY read "A Catcher In The Rye" this year. Not sure what the big deal was with that book. Maybe a few language issues, but I don't think enough to have the book banned in schools across the nation. Different times I suppose.

Anyway, click the links to see what I'm tackling. You might find some interesting stuff to check out.

1) Noam Chomsky - Media Control

2) Thomas Paine - Common Sense

3) James W. Loewen - Lies My Teacher Told Me

4) Eric Schlosser - Fast Food Nation

5) Jon Ronson - Them: Adventures With Extremists

6) Alexandra Kitty - OutFOXed: Rupert Murdoch's War On Journalism

7) Various - Abuse Your Illusions

8) Howard Zinn - People's History Of The United States

"PATRIOTISM is supporting your country ALL the time, and your government when it DESERVES it." Mark Twain

Kevn. Fucking. Kinney.

2005-04-17T11:17:00.000-04:00

4.17.2005
awesome. tough to describe how magical an experience is - or the artist performing - when 1) there's nothing to compare it to, and 2) seemingly no one else has heard of the guy ;)

kevn kinney is an incredible songwriter (from Athens, GA via Atlanta - which is home nowadays...) and drivin' & cryin' (his first band) put out some incredible cd's as well, and to this day were the loudest concert I've ever been to.

anyway, timmy and I went backstage, timmy gave him a gumball machine angel and a note that he wrote describing why he wanted kevn to have the angel. kevn said he was gonna put it on the dashboard of their van to keep 'em safe. gave timmy the pick he used for his opening set. tore timmy's note in half (since half of it was blank anyway) and wrote a note to timmy on the blank half that said "timmy! thank you so much for the angel! (scribbled a really neat pic of a guy playing guitar) Kevn Kinney"

timmy starts grinning from ear to ear. informs KK that his favorite song is the "Indian Song". they talk briefly and shake hands and kev goes off to get some chow, and we go back inside to see sarah lee guthrie (grand daughter of woody, daughter of arlo...) and her husband play a folk style show that'd just blow you away.

venue is a small art gallery in downtown lansing. LITERALLY 100 people. small, acoustically incredible. the building has a life of its own. we sat front row center of course for both parts of the show. except when sarah lee and johnny were playing, kevn came out and sat on one of the benches against the wall about 10 feet from us... timmy marches over and sits down next to him and talks quietly about "did you know The Clash are from England?" and "your show was great" and "I like your hat..." and "thanks again for the pick..." I kept turning my head to look at timmy making sure he wasn't being a pest, and seeing the interaction between timmy and an artist/person who over the last year or so has become one of his favorites was truly incredible.
kevn kept flashing this grin and kind of giving me the "it's okay" type of wave...

sarah lee guthrie is as lyrically/vocally talented as she is fucking beautiful :) her husband johnny irions is equally talented both lyrically and vocally, but doesn't do much for me physically ;) hahahahahahahahaha

there's something to be said for seeing artists you admire and have respected and researched (in my case, it's like a mission...I wanna know what makes folks tick...)...something else to see them in such an intimate setting. something even more to meet them and have them treat you as a person, with no sign of piousness or arrogance. simple personal values of treating folks like you'd like to be treated are rare nowadays. "keeping it real" for real. the epitome of an artist who plays from the heart, on stage and off.

I only hope that my children keep those values as well - not as artists, but as people. just be themselves 100% of the time. not to be swayed by the temptations of cliques or trying to be someone they aren't to please someone else.

you can sell a million records and be an asshole. you can sell 100,000 and be true to yourself and those who admire you as an artist and as a person. most of the artists I like can (seemingly) attest to the latter.

front row tickets for the show (3): $48
donation to the art gallery: $40
watching your son enjoy and appreciate a great show and meet some truly incredible people: priceless.

hard to find anything this morning (give me a couple hours... :)) to be pissed off about. hence the happier side of me being exposed.

walking on clouds this morning...timmy couldn't hardly wake up to get to school but sure was excited to tell his unknowing friends about going to a show with his daddy.

gotta stop. tears. happiness.

Taking Out The Trash

2005-04-12T11:18:00.000-04:00

4.12.2005
...look, it's really simple. if you didn't want to be a trash man, why did you take the job? you get like $20 an hour in this small town. it's a freakin' mint, bro! never mind the smell, shit man, we ALL reek of sugarbeets being processed between October and May and exhaust fumes from our beater/bondo supreme vehicles fer crissakes.

sorry, that the neighbors on either side are 80 some years old and only put out one goddamn bag each tuesday morning, most likely filled to the brim with cat food cans and leftover spaghetti. and I'm sorry that we're the youngest family on the block, have a total of 5 or 6 bags of trash by the curb every tuesday morning...but shaking your head in disbelief every goddam trash day when you arrive at our place isn't gonna make it better, ya fuckin' jerk.

dude, next time you shake your head like that, it could be just the kickstart I need to make it spin all the way around your fat neck, ya jackass.

and don't even get me started on the way you toss the rubbermaid barrels around after you empty them, ass.

give me a reason, and I'll haul your punkass back to the waste treatment factory that spawned you.

If You Love Me, Then Give A Yell, Otherwise, You'll Go To Hell!

2005-04-10T11:18:00.000-04:00

4.10.2005
Recently saw a sign at the "Pilgrim Methodist Church" here in open minded Essexville...you know, open minded as far as 75 percent of the population owning oversized/big wheeled 4 X 4 trucks with rebel flags and/or Calvin & Hobbes "piss on (insert HATED NASCAR DRIVER/ANTI HUNTER/ANTI GUN LOBBY/ANTI TED NUGENT LOVING entity here...)" sticker and/or gun racks and/or "you'll pull my gun from my cold dead hand" stickers...can be.

"How can a moral wrong, be a civil right?" Hmmmmm....could be a reference to a myriad of things. I suppose since the contents of morals in general are completely subjective, regardless of what one's religious beliefs are.

If it specifically references "pulling the plug" on someone who is terminally ill, and who has previously made their wishes known that if tubes, machines and drugs are their only source of sustenance and that they cannot otherwise feel happiness, experience the pleasures of living without any physical senses about them - then they want to be unhooked for a quicker transition into whatever afterlife (if any) they'll soon be crossing over to...is considered a "moral wrong"...well, then I would deign to say that many of us belong behind bars based on that "code of law".

If it's even more generic than that...adhering more to a "code" laid down in the good book, I would say the following. There's religion all over this world. There are many religious beliefs - and even (gasp!) those who don't believe in a "god" per se. Or, those who choose to live a life based on what they feel is right. Folks who would never harm another person, animal, plant, bug, etc... just because they feel it would be wrong to do so. With no encouragement? With no SPECIFIC SET OF LAWS - other than (you're kidding right?) COMMON FREAKIN' SENSE? Say it ain't so. How will the publishers of religious propaganda and/or bibles and/or koran's and/or pamphlets of the week possibly survive?

Easy. People can make their own decisions. To NOT kill someone on the street out of hatred, doesn't require education in a church, mosque, synagogue or whatever... it requires common sense. respect for living creatures. The same can be said for helping to facilitate the end for someone who is suffering endlessly inside, unable to communicate, unable to feel...in spite of overzealous relatives or church members who feel that that person is better off suffering than simply being at peace.

Where's the sense in that? As far as judging what is morally wrong - wouldn't it be against the "law" of most religions to make that judgement? OR, to NOT FORGIVE those folks who aren't towing the line? What's gonna happen when the whole shithouse goes up in flames (original term credit to jim morrison) and there's armies of folks from every religious affiliation fighting to get in first because they're morally superior to anyone else? If there is a divine creator - do you really think they're going to accept everyone if they're acting like a bunch of self serving hypocrites from day one? If yes, then doesn't that completely wipe out any chance of passing judgement of "sin" on anyone else? If NO...then you better start shaping up or stick to yourself and your fellow idolators and go on your way.

If there truly is one judge, let's leave it to them to deal with the acts of us earthly souls on our own. Don't call me a sinner because I don't go to your church. Or, any church for that matter. Introspection is an excellent source of divine inspiration. We're all given the gift to look within ourselves and to be kind. And to pay the consequences for actions we commit against others that cause physical, mental or emotional harm.

What goes around comes around. Knowing this, live and let live. Oh, and forgive.

Whatever, Dudes... Jealousy Of Britney Ain't Cool.

2005-04-06T11:19:00.000-04:00

4.6.2005
if you...

had tons of money...the ability to make a ton more on your looks alone...have been on the cover of every magazine in the world...were good
looking (a stretch for some of us...especially yours truly...)...earned the admiration of a large fan base for whatever your talents are...would you be
happy?

what if you had cameras on you wherever you went? what if no matter what you did - you were scrutinized for it? you know, like "OH MY GOD! (name)
BOUGHT THE SUPER SIZE PACK OF DOUBLEMINT GUM!!! THEY'RE OFF THE SUGAR WAGON!!! LOOK AT THEIR TEETH!!!"

craving attention...fame...money...etc...or...choosing a career that will bring all of the above will also indirectly cause you choose boxcars full of
grief. fine. it seems any intelligent person would understand that. some folks can handle it better than others. considering that britney only
recently lashed out / stuck up for herself against the press...I think she's handled things pretty well for a young woman.

has she made poor choices? depends on the person you ask. there are no definitive answers - to ANY questions. there are NO definitive RULES that
say how a person's supposed to act or behave - unless you refer to laws (which she hasn't broken to my knowledge) regarding harming others. despite
what seemingly most folks would believe. getting married in vegas isn't a crime. spending money on nukes when we've got a stockpile already big
enough to tear the world down 10 times over - INSTEAD of feeding folks who are starving...now THAT's a crime. but let's not go there. wearing a
midriff showing t shirt and smoking a cigarette in front of someone with a camera who will take your picture - not pay you for it - and post it on the
internet proclaiming you as "The Trailer Park Princess" is also not a crime. shit, you can see that every day all around you. especially in the so
called "bible belt"...but again, let's not go there either.

we all make "poor/questionable/regrettable decisions" in our daily routines. we all (mostly) survive them. maybe even learn from them. not necessarily today,
but perhaps down the road sometime. eventually.

scrutiny is something that is indefensible. unavoidable. success breeds extreme jealousy, and you can't stop folks from hating you because you have
what they don't. it would seem our society could benefit from taking a step back, stop trying
to disguise our jealousy (and that IS what it is, lest one denies it...but that's what it is...) of those who have what we don't...and hoping for folks
to fail and frothing at the mouth waiting for that failure to come to life on our idiot boxes... and INSTEAD, just dig what we have for ourselves.

but...alas...what do I know? only this: what comes around, goes around - twofold.

and with that...end transmission.

Don't Call It A Blog

2005-04-05T11:20:00.000-04:00

4.5.2005
I’ve decided to put my thoughts down on paper - or at least “screen” as it were. Thoughts that occur to me daily. Random thoughts and observations regarding what’s happening in my life and the world around me. Quite frankly, as simple a person as I consider myself to be, there’s tons happening upstairs lately. I’ve GOT to put this stuff down, lest I find myself incapable of decompression. Most of what I’m going to write about will have a political/sociological bent, as that’s really what drives my energy to write. Not much of a “here’s another ‘first in the life of my kid’” kind of person. I love my kids. As much as they disturb the momentum of working from home on a daily basis, those little people are the true light in my life…and a large reason why I fear the future like I do. Besides, I most often write about the things that encourage my poetic fervor (read: things that piss me off).

Although this will be on the web, for my friends, family and the occasional passerby on the WWWeb to see, I refuse to label it as a “blog.” That’s pigeonholing my inner turmoil and its impending irrigation into nothing more than a label. I’m here to teach. If for no one else’s benefit, for my own. Shit, as far as that goes, I’ll be the only one really interested in reading the thoughts in my own mind - daily, a year from now, ten years from now…whatever. I can’t imagine anyone being interested in what’s making me tick - or better put - what’s ticking me off. If nothing else, I hope to gain and possibly provide insight - whether just to myself, those in my “inner circle.” As I educate myself, I hope that occasionally I’ll be able to convince at least one member of this world to read more about topics that fuel my interests. To bring at least one person out of their comfort zone. To bring someone around on their way of thinking - even on something that really could legitimately “go either way.” I think the challenge of making that happen (possibly even turning myself around - maybe even several times), as I continue to research the world around me daily, not stopping at the surface of ANYTHING, constantly exploring deeper the things that I love (and, perhaps more importantly, those things that I despise…thanks Frederick…) to dig as close to the root of existence as possible - is what appeals to me most. Well, that, and long, long run on sentences.

Seriously, it’s really too bad that spending 10 minutes with every single person in this world is not a possibility. I think I could get this thing spinning in the right directions. “No Spin Zone” my ass. The “non spinning” of our society is responsible for the dead brain cells of the non thinking lemmings that share the earth with me. That’s most of this world unfortunately.

And, truth be told, I certainly don’t have all the answers. Not even freakin’ close. I’m no messiah. I don’t want followers. I’m not starting some cult. Unless it’s a cult of “READERS.” Straighten yourselves up folks. To quote the great Bill Hicks, before you jump in on some topic that a propagandist has spun towards the “right”: “Listen. Read. Think. Slow down. Shut the FUCK UP.” I wish good ol’ Bill would have been around long enough to riff a bit on Network “news”. But that’s another story. After all Terri Schiavo and The Pope are now both dead…what the hell else is there to talk about now?

And I can’t think of a better way to end transmission 1, than with this from my main man Steve Earle:

“The most important thing to remember is, no matter what anyone tells you, it is NEVER EVER unpatriotic or un-american to question ANYTHING in a democracy.”